urboyblue Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When I hear someone say "Valentimes" I wanna punch them in the throat.....it's an N for No wonder you're alone
←Rate | 02-13-2013 17:26 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could find a deaf, mute hot blonde....I would give her the world!!
←Rate | 07-22-2011 15:43 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK girls...we aren't ignoring you, we are not being disrespectful, we hear the phone ringing, we hear the text notification!! We still love you, thank you for all you do.....So go shopping or get your nails done, go out with the girls or get something wax
←Rate | 12-30-2012 15:53 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon My generation should be on Survivor!! This will be the 54th "end of the world" we have endured!! The Tribe has spoken....We are badas$$!
←Rate | 12-20-2012 11:41 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hold a woman up to your ear and wait til the screaming stops....you can faintly hear her tell you she wants money, house, cars and fine jewelry!!
←Rate | 12-14-2011 18:24 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the rapture is Saturday...I hope the Lord knows that I was listening to the preacher while colorin'
←Rate | 05-19-2011 20:37 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon God....if you give us back Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings or Freddie Mercury, we'll give You Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga in return, Amen!!
←Rate | 02-24-2011 20:45 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon it wrong when your pubic hair is longer than your pubic?
←Rate | 01-28-2011 14:48 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paul Ryan looks like Doug, Dougie, Doug, Doug from "The Hangover"
←Rate | 10-11-2012 22:05 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can hear all the dogs in my neighborhood laughing their a$$es off at Michael Vick's performance tonight!! One year wonder??
←Rate | 08-18-2011 21:36 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK...if you're a fish, do you have to wait 30 mins to swim after you eat??
←Rate | 10-24-2011 15:44 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quick...I am a nervous wreck, hand me a brush and let me paint a Bob Ross Happy Tree!!
←Rate | 06-28-2011 00:21 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that Britney Griner's collegiate career is over....do you think he will end up with the Heat and Lebron?
←Rate | 03-31-2013 21:12 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a missed call at 3 am and I just now called it back. It was Jake from StateFarm
←Rate | 06-25-2013 11:06 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that Black Friday is over, wonder if Mexican Saturday means things are free??
←Rate | 11-26-2011 09:05 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got a funny cigarette and a $2 bottle of wine and a beautiful blonde with me tonight!! Life can't get no sweeter!!
←Rate | 05-14-2011 19:55 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonder if all the fake Facebooker's will be real on Halloween and tell us how their life is really going??
←Rate | 10-27-2011 22:04 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do women like men who are smart, goal oriented and have a sense of humor?? Because opposites attract!!
←Rate | 01-25-2012 14:03 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh it's Cinco de Mayo....that's why I keep seeing cars with 22 people inside back through a red light with a traffic cam, family portraits!!
←Rate | 05-05-2014 16:05 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon God looked at Adam when Eve fell into the ocean and asked: "How am I gonna get that smell out of those fish??"
←Rate | 12-02-2011 20:01 by urboyblue Comments (0)  



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