joseph robert Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm glad I have work today. Who wants to celebrate Presidents' Day with this dude in office? In any case, happy bday month to George and Abe. You guys were pretty awesome.
←Rate | 02-17-2014 12:43 by Joseph Robert Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don't have to be wearing a coat in july to be told I look hot!
←Rate | 09-07-2011 12:29 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a shame that all these die-in protesters aren't actually dying
←Rate | 12-09-2014 11:21 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The McRib is like the undead of the sandwich world, it keeps coming back. #ZombieFood!
←Rate | 10-21-2011 15:56 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oxiclean commercials just aren't the same without Billy Mays. Also late night tv needs more Vince from Shamwow. That hooker prob had it coming
←Rate | 09-28-2011 10:31 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bacon is meat candy
←Rate | 09-30-2011 10:15 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self: The acronym for "Save the Date" is not appropriate to include all over a work memo
←Rate | 08-16-2011 19:01 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon My haiku for the day: Please this is tourture, evaluate your bitstrip, you don't look like that.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 16:29 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I killed Bigfoot! I also have a few aliens in my basement! You gotta trust me because I said so! Oh by the way I have pictures but you can't look at them!
←Rate | 05-04-2011 15:06 by joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long for fat people
←Rate | 03-11-2013 09:09 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The real Christmas miracle is how quick I go broke
←Rate | 12-17-2012 16:39 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon finally a Godfather! But I'm going to let the kid call me God for short
←Rate | 08-17-2011 12:06 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon It seems all the girls in my school decided to go as a 21 yr old with low self esteem and daddy issues. Must have been weird for them to all have the same costume on
←Rate | 11-01-2013 15:36 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon NOTE: God only takes those He wants.... Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus will be here FOREVER. For-ev-er.
←Rate | 12-06-2013 12:00 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon In memory of matcho man R.S. and in preparation for the Rapture, I'm going to buy enough slim jims to snap in to for the next five months
←Rate | 05-20-2011 14:57 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The very moment I can imagine a really hot girl taking a dump, is the very second I'm no longer attracted to her
←Rate | 08-22-2011 19:39 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to fix my oven door in my apartment, but I couldn't find a screwdriver. Guess I'll just have to make one. #VodkaOrangeJuice #ProblemSolved
←Rate | 03-01-2013 14:32 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon playing my favorite game today, Gun Shots or Fireworks?
←Rate | 07-04-2014 10:38 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found 20 dollars! I guess good things do happen to bad people!
←Rate | 12-17-2012 16:05 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'm going to call in raptured to work on monday
←Rate | 05-17-2011 13:01 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  




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