eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just bought formula. Babies would be cheaper if they ran on gas!
←Rate | 03-26-2013 21:09 by eaglet1122 Comments (1)  


   messageicon You would think that the 4 page instructions/warnning packet for Adderall, would include narritive pictures.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 11:57 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hear teaching Geography is where it is at these days!
←Rate | 10-20-2011 22:50 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has a theory: If grocery stores just paint the cart returns with handicap blue and build it out of curbing. Then everyone would put their buggies there!
←Rate | 08-09-2010 22:13 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stevie Wonder's nephew was charged with trying to extort his famous uncle....I guess Stevie never saw that coming!
←Rate | 05-12-2012 10:48 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎*disclamer* no animals were harmed in the crafting of this status update. Stunt doubles were substituted and all theories were tested on a closed course.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 12:58 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mood ring isn't a fashion statement. It is a court order!
←Rate | 02-12-2012 14:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies......I am rebound material!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just cut a coupon for Adderall off the back of a box of Lucky Charms.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 22:10 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking my car to get fixed today. I don't need a bunch of little car mouths to feed!
←Rate | 01-09-2012 12:39 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the rate I am coughing, I expect a "Six Pack" or an "Brain Aneurysm" buy the end of the week!
←Rate | 12-21-2011 20:29 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Caught a flounder in my crab trap....What a fluke.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 13:49 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am rotating the tire on my unicycle!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 22:02 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spend 500% of my life exaggerating!
←Rate | 06-16-2012 15:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon #1 I am sorry to break this to you baby but you are not #1. you are not even #10. To be honest I don't think you even made the speed dial list! However, you will always be my favorite Grandma!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 09:41 by eaglet1122 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I want to be a comedian so bad but I am afraid they will all laugh at me!
←Rate | 10-15-2010 19:48 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After only one date, I knew her "emotional closet" was a walk in!
←Rate | 08-21-2011 08:31 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am that little chocolate you find when you least expect it and need it the most!!
←Rate | 09-14-2011 23:07 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon enjoying the sounds of a 2 year old having a meltdown...so soothing
←Rate | 06-13-2012 19:59 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to be famous and make a cure that saves tens of people!
←Rate | 06-17-2012 14:33 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  



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