YODA Funny Status Messages

   It's not cellulite, it's my body's way of saying "I'm sexy" ...in braille.

   So many 2 x 4's ... So few studs...

   Sometimes I laugh so hard, tears run down my leg.

   no amount of cash is petty

   To drink or not to drink!? What a stupid question!

   to you it's a 6 pack... to me.... it's a support group

   Sometimes I'm more confused than a baby in a topless bar...

   I used to complain aobut how much a cup of coffee was at Starbucks... after seeing how much a "cup" is at the VIctoria Secret Fashion show, I'm getting a GREAT deal at Starbucks...

   Women who think the way to a man's heart is thru his stomach are aiming too high... jest saying

   theres no "half-singing" in the shower... you are either a wimp or a Rock Star....

   don't cry over spilled milk... it could have been beer...

   With the holidays, I'd rather check my facebook than face my checkbook...

   Last night I realized that 3.5 inches could totally satisfy me... Yep, I went shopping with my new credit card!

   n't it ironic when you put THE and IRS together it beomes "theirs"? hmmm

   We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, 'Why did this happen to me?' unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way... jest sayin

   men really don't want their minds blown...

   Imagine the sheer horror in kid's face when you tell the "When I was born there was no internet".

   Alcohol does NOT make you fat, it makes you LEAN...against tables, chairs and walls...

   Im thinking of changing my name to Reason.... Because no one ever listens to me.

   I can't believe they let people own guns. Public toilets are all the proof we need that humans have horrible aim