SULLY Funny Status Messages

   My Born Again Christian friend with the Porsche is wondering why I've been following him around all morning........

   It would be pretty cool if, on her last show, Oprah ripped off a mask and it was Michael Jackson.

   Say what you want about Lance Armstrong, but I think being the first man to walk on the Moon is an amazing achievement. They can never take that away from him...

   The Pope is really setting a high bar for giving something up for Lent.

   I saw a squirrel eating a dead squirrel on the way home. So, the bath salt/zombie crisis has now reached the animal kingdom...

   FYI - Valentines Day is only 5 days away... It's not too late to break up.

   My brain during the day: I need a nap.... My brain at night: I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here & allowed us to sustain human life....

   I've decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent....

   Look, if we all work together, we can lift and move New Orleans to a new location...

   just had the new Doritos taco........, but I still don't get the ad where they drive 900 miles to buy one. Why not just buy a bag of Doritos and pour yard waste in it?

   Can't Brad and Angelina just adopt North Korea?

   At least Herman Cain knows when to pull out......

   Tony Romo is the type of person to make a perfect cake and then drop it on the way to the table....

   The Postal Service should have Lance Armstrong deliver Saturdays mail for free....

   They're gearing us up for a race war. Don't play into it, Americans....

   "All gave some, and some gave all" Remember 9/11......

   Are the ATF and border patrols also shutdown? Asking for a Mexican friend....

   Awaiting Mitt Romney news conference where he'll say Trump's prints were found on newly-discovered OJ Simpson knife....

   Unlike Rudolph, I don't have to visit the Island of Misfit Toys this Christmas. I work there.

   St. Patrick Pro Tip: Clean your toilet now!! You may be face down in it later........