Mike M Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When someone hands me a Bible, I flip it open and autograph it. Then I hand it back (as they look very confused), I smile and say.. "It's always nice to meet a fan!"
←Rate | 05-15-2016 07:47 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon better pay his COX cable bill before they cut our COX off...
←Rate | 05-21-2010 19:44 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone complains about facebook making changes, what they really mean is, "I just barely learned how to turn on my computer this year."
←Rate | 09-21-2011 10:30 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon just learned that the human head weighs about 10lbs. So if you're looking to loose those last pesky 10lbs... it looks like you should stop using the treadmill and start using the guillotine.
←Rate | 10-03-2010 11:46 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks the Winter Olympics would be a lot more interesting if they gave the spectators shotguns and told them to shoot at the skiers! There'd be more speed records that's for darn sure.
←Rate | 02-12-2010 23:27 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"He's a nurse." and "He's a cheerleader." sound the same to me.
←Rate | 10-03-2010 11:48 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hospitals are running low on plasma and need donations. Apparently people bought more TVs for Christmas than they expected so they need to make more.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 00:13 by MIke M Comments (0)  


   messageicon REAL! Don't let facebook fool you... Just because you can't smell, taste, or grab him through your computer screen does not mean he doesn't exist. Have faith little one, and your devotion will be rewarded...
←Rate | 08-10-2010 14:51 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rough draft for fb: If men were as flexible as dogs, wives would make their husbands wear cones or they'd never go to work.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 15:53 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every morning after my coffee I use the skills I learned while taking Lamaze classes: Breathing techniques, and timing the contractions.  
←Rate | 11-12-2010 10:00 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know those couples where the wife is 40 something and looks like 20 something, and the husband makes over 100k and the teenagers are respectful and good looking and they go out to eat together on Friday nights as a family? I HATE those people!
←Rate | 04-03-2010 00:16 by MIke M Comments (0)  


   messageicon A snail goes into a car dealership​ and says, "I wanna buy a little car. And I want you to paint a big "S" on the side of it." Salesman says, "OK, but why?" Snail says, "So when I pass by people will say LOOK AT THAT LITTLE S-CAR GO!"
←Rate | 08-16-2011 11:42 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know methane gas is odorless right? That's why I add the odor to mine so you guys know if I have a leak!
←Rate | 06-09-2011 02:37 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow!  That's wasn't a fart... I think I just backfired! 
←Rate | 09-27-2011 21:21 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon traveling deep into Mordor and picking up the kid's from Sauron's house.
←Rate | 10-22-2010 20:29 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon May you have the luck of the Irish and starve today because you can't find potatoes!
←Rate | 03-17-2012 07:38 by Mike M Comments (0)  



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