Mike Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When you order your coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is "Merry Christmas"
←Rate | 11-10-2015 17:33 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves to go to Washington - if only to be near his money.
←Rate | 10-15-2009 08:27 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the big deal with the 2 idiots that snuck in for a white house party for a couple hours? I can't turn on the news without seeing them. "W" pulled the same trick in 2000 and stayed for 8 years and he didn't get that kind of coverage!
←Rate | 12-01-2009 12:27 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think the fact that gorillas have big nostrils and big fingers are related in any way?
←Rate | 05-09-2013 17:12 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have found that if you love life... life will love you back
←Rate | 12-12-2009 01:03 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon How the heck can people get so excited over a game that can end in a tie? Is it gratifying when you're kissing your sister as well?
←Rate | 06-22-2014 22:08 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon JUST ANNOUNCED: The Pope is resigning at the end of the month. Sounds a little Joe Paterno-ish to me.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 06:08 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your dog fits in your purse, send it back, it's a rat in a dog suit.
←Rate | 01-14-2010 09:24 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, so now I have my coal in the pressure cooker....How long will this take?
←Rate | 12-25-2009 20:02 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon gearing up for hot tub season!
←Rate | 10-24-2009 10:24 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone want to chip in and make a counteroffer to buy back Joe Lieberman?
←Rate | 12-14-2009 22:58 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just woke up and can't go back to bed. I turn on the TV looking to maybe find something to watch. My choices are Baggage, 7 days of Sex, Sex Sent Me to the ER, The Real World:Ex-plosion, and Hannah Montana. Wondering if Miley Cyrus is staring in all of th
←Rate | 02-27-2014 08:25 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baskin Robbins called. They said, "Thanks to you, we're down to 5 flavors."
←Rate | 02-08-2012 19:37 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only way to make soccer interesting is if they could pick up the ball and throw it...
←Rate | 02-04-2014 05:15 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon like superman just without the cape
←Rate | 07-26-2009 20:12 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never text your wife and your gal pal at the same time...one misplaced "love you" can confuse everything
←Rate | 02-15-2013 15:07 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching Fox News, but for some reason I can't figure out why Obama would shut down a bridge?
←Rate | 01-09-2014 20:34 by mike Comments (1)  


   messageicon one good wish changing nothing, one good decision changes everything!
←Rate | 12-28-2009 20:41 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rubbing one out thinking about Wall-E and EVA in the throes of robo-love
←Rate | 03-11-2010 23:10 by Mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget to watch the NFL kicker/punter combine this afternoon!
←Rate | 07-13-2014 13:06 by mike Comments (0)  



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