Maureen Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Always be yourself, unless you can be a penguin. Then always be a penguin.
←Rate | 02-25-2012 21:51 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just so you know...weather conditions where simultaneously wearing shorts and Uggs is acceptable - NEVER EXIST!
←Rate | 07-28-2012 12:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to go see Magic Mike, but only to explore the narrative, artistic, cultural, economic, and political implications of the film.
←Rate | 07-09-2012 14:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't want to die, but if I have to, I hope to die in a way so spectacular they name a new piece of protective legislation after me.
←Rate | 08-08-2012 20:33 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up this morning swearing I could smell pancakes, but it seems I was just smellucinating.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 15:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon living in a van down by the river!
←Rate | 06-12-2012 21:34 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon finds that I tend to say “I don't know” when I'm too lazy to think.
←Rate | 03-04-2012 19:59 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon would imagine there really isn't any market for sea shells down by the sea shore considering the abundance of free sea shells.
←Rate | 02-04-2013 07:55 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I am faced with a challenge, I ask myself, “What would Phil Dunphy do?”
←Rate | 02-28-2012 18:05 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I can`t easily reach what I dropped…I begin to justify why I don`t need it.
←Rate | 02-22-2012 13:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon understands the concept of housework, but has difficulty grasping how it applies to me!
←Rate | 02-26-2012 09:44 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders why we can't just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
←Rate | 05-02-2014 19:48 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon This delicious brownie just accepted my friend request!
←Rate | 03-06-2012 09:23 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon The side effects of the medicine I just took include nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, repeating things four times & difficulty adding.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 19:06 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say “gullible” slow enough…it sounds like “orange”!
←Rate | 04-19-2012 23:48 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
←Rate | 11-12-2011 19:52 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon enjoys long, romantic walks to my fridge!
←Rate | 12-27-2011 13:46 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon This healthy bran cereal tastes just like bacon because I threw it away and am now eating bacon.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 10:11 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks animal testing is a terrible idea; what if they get all nervous and give the wrong answers?
←Rate | 02-11-2012 23:04 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon operating a safe distance from genius this morning.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 08:29 by Maureen Comments (0)  



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