MWC Funny Status Messages



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Page: 4 of 13

   messageicon Just did my morning run!! (from the bed to the bathroom) I feel so invigorated.
←Rate | 11-15-2012 07:56 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've learned so much from my mistakes...I'm gonna make a few more.
←Rate | 10-10-2012 06:54 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Doctor Phil, I was wacking off, looking out our bathroom window at the neighbor lady sunbathing topless. And seen my wife watching me with her arms crossed and giving me a dirty look...My question is, Is she perverted?
←Rate | 10-09-2012 14:28 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
←Rate | 01-24-2013 12:19 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with!
←Rate | 11-27-2012 10:48 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon the worst part of being naked is not having pockets
←Rate | 11-26-2012 07:27 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't procrastinate. I just like to have a lot to look forward to.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 09:09 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am a kleptomaniac, and when it gets really bad I take something for it.
←Rate | 04-21-2013 20:51 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always pictured myself taking selfies.
←Rate | 04-16-2014 08:36 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I’m about to die and my life flashes before my eyes I’m worried that a lot of it will just be Facebook and TV.
←Rate | 03-10-2013 19:54 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its so cold outside I had to put Jack in my Coke to keep it from frezzing.
←Rate | 01-23-2013 10:53 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think a lot better when my mind is blank!
←Rate | 10-09-2012 14:47 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
←Rate | 11-14-2014 11:48 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm rarely wrong, I mean mistaken.
←Rate | 11-19-2014 22:46 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing,,Me, So the neighbors don't think I'm beating you
←Rate | 03-21-2014 08:04 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon <---just took a "Try Me" sticker off one of the plush toys at Wal-Mart and stuck it on a condom box!!
←Rate | 06-09-2013 06:19 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK which team has the most dreadlocks?
←Rate | 02-01-2015 20:01 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon The salesman claimed the shoes were made from alligator, but I knew it was a crock
←Rate | 08-14-2015 13:46 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you butt dailing, cause I swear that a$$ is calling me
←Rate | 10-25-2015 16:37 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. now I'm older I like mine in the bottle
←Rate | 04-08-2014 12:17 by MWC Comments (0)  



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