Jiffy Pop Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The media praised Oprah for being humble when compared to other celebrities because she has no "selfies" on Twitter. Apparently the Media has yet to notice that the cover model for "O Magazine" is always the same darn person.
←Rate | 12-22-2013 03:06 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vodka works better than Mistletoe at Christmas Parties. That's because with Vodka someone is getting kissed whether they want it or not.
←Rate | 12-14-2013 22:09 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♫♪ " ...It's beginning to look a lot like ̶̶C̶̶H̶̶R̶̶I̶̶S̶̶T̶̶M̶̶A̶̶S̶̶ El Niño, everywhere I go..." ♫♪
←Rate | 12-23-2015 09:54 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't simply have problems like people often talk about. I just date or marry them.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 03:01 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may not have grown old gracefully, but having a woman who still loves me has helped me to grow old gratefully.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 05:51 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon So apparently everyone is calling One Direction "The new Beatles." Great, now I can't wait to see who gets shot first.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 12:34 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the 2nd day of the rest of your life. Sorry yesterday was the 1st day. Didn't you get the memo?
←Rate | 12-11-2013 12:25 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon WTH?? AC/DC Drummer Phil Rudd was arrested for trying to hire a hitman! Well now I'm disillusioned. So much for AC/DC knowing anything at all about "Dirty Deeds done Dirt Cheap".
←Rate | 11-06-2014 09:43 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Madonna's actual offer, since her affair with A-Rod, is "Free Herpes to everyone who votes for Hillary!"
←Rate | 10-20-2016 03:57 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Memorial Day is the day where we spend time with our loved ones, who are sometimes a pain to live with, to remember our loved ones who are painful to live without.
←Rate | 05-26-2014 07:43 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
←Rate | 02-18-2014 21:20 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon After much experience paying bank overdraft fees, I have come to believe it can't be mere coincidence that all the letters found in "Debit Card" can be rearranged to spell "baD Credit"...
←Rate | 10-24-2013 02:56 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just wrapped up a great Father's Day with a phone call with my Dad. He taught me everything I know about fishing, grilling,and fixing things. He also taught me what to say and how to say it if I stub my toe or hit my thumb with a hammer. Thanks Dad!
←Rate | 06-15-2014 21:19 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who wants to be successful in old age has to start young.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 05:59 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon The cost of living has gone up so high that the chance of living it up- especially during the holidays- has gone way down.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 22:12 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my younger days I was proud to be on a "first name basis" with everyone at my job. But now as I approach retirement age I find myself to be on more of a "forgotten name basis" with my coworkers.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 14:39 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Told the owner of my company that I'm not coming in Monday because he has this new "Affluenza" and I don't want to catch it.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 12:53 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about all these crazy Potato Chip flavors is that we don't need to make side dishes for the Turkey this year.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 23:46 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think they put "The Island of Misfit Toys" in the Rudolph Christmas special so poor kids know why they get crappy presents from Santa at Christmas.
←Rate | 12-08-2013 21:06 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a huge and very intricate spider web downstairs, but I didn't see the spider...and if I can't locate this spider to take care of it I might actually be able to stay up to watch the ball drop tonight.
←Rate | 12-31-2013 14:37 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  



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