Heather25 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon People who gossip need to get their own life, those who listen and believe it need to get a life.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 19:53 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a commercial where every line at Walmart was staffed with a cashier. It's amazing what fantasy you can create on television!
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:14 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks that you should've been swallowed at conception.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 19:39 by Heather25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I only had one officer Mr. Keg..
←Rate | 10-06-2010 17:02 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you are feeling down because everyone is against you just remember that....Nationwide is on your side.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:32 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Duct tape" - finding a cure to noise pollution, one mouth at a time.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 10:11 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trust me, if I want your opinion-I'll remove the f*cking duct tape.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 03:49 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not feeling myself today....perhaps I should feel somebody else.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:19 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 13:30 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well then....whatever cranks your tractor.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 19:17 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 14:05 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do I set the laser printer to stun?
←Rate | 10-01-2010 13:42 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what would happen if everyone decided to call in sick on Monday..
←Rate | 10-11-2010 19:03 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about this status is by the time you realize it's completely worthless it's too late for you to stop reading it. ;)
←Rate | 12-03-2010 11:59 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's alright, he's only choking!
←Rate | 10-01-2010 13:45 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the patient was asked if he had had a good night he answered that he'd slept as soundly as the nurse on night duty.
←Rate | 11-11-2010 18:03 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless you want to f*ck me, why do you care what I look like?
←Rate | 10-01-2010 13:44 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am always confused when people ask me.. "Did you sleep good?" I always wonder if they want me to say.."No, I made a few mistakes"..
←Rate | 12-09-2010 01:07 by Heather25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The purpose of fruit flies; to make people look insane, grabbing at the air like they are hallucinating.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 16:18 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them??
←Rate | 10-19-2010 14:57 by Heather25 Comments (7)  



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