Gil Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Best Film went to a silent movie made by Frenchmen and Best Foreign film went to Iran. 2 sure signs the world is ending soon.
←Rate | 02-27-2012 09:42 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a proud supporter of the Occupy sesame street protest.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 22:31 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this day, 25 years ago, Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone's vault. WTF is he still working?
←Rate | 04-23-2011 22:57 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon "if you haven't gotten laid using facebook, you're doing it wrong" - 90% of facebook users
←Rate | 03-08-2012 22:47 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do I get no "likes" when I mention cocaine and strippers in the same sentence?
←Rate | 08-03-2013 02:25 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope everyone's fridge gets knocked out in the storm. Bama voters will be in line for new food-stamps instead of voting.
←Rate | 10-29-2012 15:27 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bill and Ted wrote the best bible when they said "Be excellent to each other". no other commandments or words of wisdom needed.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 00:19 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 2 living Popes come from the final 2 remaining countries in the World Cup. Checkmate Atheists!!
←Rate | 07-11-2014 11:38 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm buying 100 Gyro-bowls for Christmas. I'm tired of spilling my vodka when I stumble out of the bathroom. who wants one?
←Rate | 12-11-2010 03:09 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone believes Osama Bin Laden was really buried at sea, I have a bridge in New York I want to sell you.
←Rate | 05-03-2011 03:02 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon A vegan, a cross-fitter, and an atheist walk into a bar. Who does the bartender shoot first?
←Rate | 05-30-2015 16:43 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon This purple unicorn sitting next to me, while smoking a crack pipe, is saying that I drink too much. I told him to stop smoking crack cocaine. Stupid unicorn drug addicts.
←Rate | 04-11-2011 16:18 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear T-Rex, Brontosaurus, & Velociraptor. Sorry I ran out of space on my Ark for you.... Noah
←Rate | 04-21-2011 21:21 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear John Edwards, Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you!, Sincerely, Anthony Weiner
←Rate | 06-02-2011 23:15 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you heard about the upcoming vegetarian Zombie apocalypse? They only eat grains....
←Rate | 08-22-2012 21:55 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now accepting applications for FWB. Several positions open. Please email me photos and resume.
←Rate | 04-28-2011 18:38 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon It costs you nothing to pay someone a compliment. Be nice to someone today. Kindness is contagious.
←Rate | 08-15-2016 12:30 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Rudolph commits suicide after Santa upgrades to GPS
←Rate | 12-23-2010 14:48 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Thanks FIFA for making me look like a boy scout!" - Tom Brady
←Rate | 06-04-2015 16:59 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Protester Fail: Every Guy Fawkes mask you buy to show your support sends a royallty to Time Warner, one of the largest corporations in America.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:19 by Gil Comments (0)  



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