trump Funny Status Messages

   Trump is the oldest elected President the US ever had, which means we will witness his transition from paying people to pee on him, to him peeing himself.

   Several Russian prostitutes seen headed to Trump Golf Course in Virginia today for "meetings".

   Trump hooked hiis drive out of bounds on the sixth hole today. Blames Democrats.

   Trump's golf instructor gave him a great tip this morning. He would have much better hip rotation if he took his head out of his butt.

   Note to self - playing the Trump card isn't as effective when the Trump is a joker.

   Getting exercise by marching is Trump's new healthcare plan . What an idiot

   Official White House response: Donald Trump's in meetings. Journalists with cameras and tourists with iPhones: Donald Trump is definitely golfing.

   Sources say Michael Flynn may have turned on Trump and become witness for FBI, or as Donald calls them, Female Body Inspectors.

   Donald Trump is so terrible at negotiating that he can't even find a way to convince his wife to live with him.

   The leader of the Freedom Caucus confirmed to CNN today that they wouldn't vote yes because Trump didn't say "please".

   Trump bills Germany $300 BILLION for Nato (even though that's not how it works). Dude will try anything to recoup his Trump Steak losses.

   Monster Nursery Rhymes: Humpty Dumpty fell off of Trump's wall and had no health insurance.

   New course now available at Trump University! The Art Of The Deal: Step 1) Bargain. 2) Fail. 3) Give up. 4) Blame others. 5) Go golfing.

   If Trump's nose grew every time he told a lie, Melania could wipe his nose for him in New York when he is sniffling in Washington.

   few people know that "trump" is a Russian word meaning "tiny handed buffoon who can't close the deal."

   Trump and Spicerhave spent the last two months with their fingers crossed behind their backs.

   "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth" - Trump self pep talk in the mirror every morning.

   Trump looks like the rich dad on Law and Order whose son accidentally strangles the hooker.

   Trump is researching if he has the power to kick Rosie O'Donnell out of the USA. Um, shouldn't he be focused on better and more important issues? He has some weird priorities.

   Trump is trying to stop Yates from testifying because the only thing he hates more than strong women are strong women who tell the truth.