Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I got 99 problems but a mother f**king jay z ticket aint one of them.
←Rate | 04-08-2010 13:56 by walllsey boy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
←Rate | 04-06-2010 17:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks Like Kate Goselin Is As Bad A Dancer As She Was Wife And Is A Mother. Jesus Stay Home Lady We Have Had Enough!
←Rate | 03-29-2010 22:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother rabbit to baby bunny: "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions."
←Rate | 03-26-2010 08:22 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?
←Rate | 03-25-2010 23:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "no one told you life was gonna be this way," but later in the same song... "you're mother warned you there'd be days like these"...well did your mother tell you or not? Can I get some consistency please?
←Rate | 03-25-2010 23:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would make your mother proud if you could NOT, walk, talk, spell, and wear your damn pants like you were raised by a rap video your whole life.
←Rate | 03-23-2010 15:34 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to say on this last day of Winter. Winter, Kiss my Mother F*#$ing A$$ and DON'T HURRY BACK!!!
←Rate | 03-19-2010 13:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask "Mother,what was war?" -Eva Merriam.
←Rate | 03-17-2010 17:34 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon trust is like a mirror you can fix it if its broken but you can still see the crack in that mother fuckers reflection!
←Rate | 03-16-2010 10:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So it's mothers day and I had trouble deciding what to get my mother-in-law I couldn't choose between a Toyota Prius or a holiday in Haiti, so eventually I plumped for luging lessons in Vancouver.
←Rate | 03-14-2010 07:04 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw your mother naked and everything went black!!! I think my eyes were trying to protect my heart!!!
←Rate | 03-12-2010 11:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
←Rate | 03-11-2010 01:30 by Mduduzi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mother Nature, hey, thanks [sneezes] for choosing POLLEN for plant reproduction....no, really[sneezes]....the stuff is great.....
←Rate | 03-05-2010 22:54 by JG Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son is on 11 months and can't talk but sometimes I think it's fun to imagine what he would say if he could... like this morning; I imagined him saying "Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster
←Rate | 03-05-2010 14:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
←Rate | 03-05-2010 14:27 by kat Comments (0)  


   messageicon Definition of mixed emotions: seeing your mother-in-law go over a cliff in your brand new Porsche.
←Rate | 03-03-2010 12:48 by Lemonpillow Comments (3)  


   messageicon My father was a dentist and my mother was a manicurist.They kept fighting tooth and nail.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 02:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon in front of his home with every electric fan he owns blowing upward, in a defiant act against Mother Nature.....Enough with the snow lady, just go watch "The Waltons" reruns until Spring......
←Rate | 02-15-2010 20:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enoug
←Rate | 02-02-2010 21:35 Comments (0)  




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