Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The year is 2073. My wife and I rest in side by side burial plots. Waking up in the middle of the night our 57yo son, for reasons beyond his understanding, digs a horizontal hole between us and gets in. His head near his mother and his feet kicking my c
←Rate | 08-17-2019 06:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The baby gets really annoyed when I try to undress him. He gets that from his mother.
←Rate | 08-23-2019 06:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Facebook, I'm fully capable of finding my phone friends so if you can do me a favor and stop suggesting them to me like my mother did when I was 5 years old that would be great. Thanks!
←Rate | 11-06-2019 01:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.
←Rate | 12-31-2019 19:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *My mother inlaw is so old, that she has an autograph copy of the Bible.
←Rate | 01-05-2020 05:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This year my mother gave my son a drum set for Christmas. Which surprised me. I said to her don't you remember how you hated it when I played the drums when I was a kid? She replyed with a smile , I remember.
←Rate | 01-11-2020 19:06 by Starman Comments (0)  


   messageicon [reviewing security cam footage to see what's eating out of my trash at night] mother of god it's me
←Rate | 01-19-2020 08:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it rude to start asking my mother-in-law for daily child care fees? Her child is a handful and I don't work for free.
←Rate | 01-22-2020 11:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dilemma: Watching your mother inlaw driving towards a cliff in your brand new car.
←Rate | 01-29-2020 20:38 by STARMAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a little kid I was under so much pressure when Smokey the Bear said "Only YOU can prevent forest fires!" until my mother explained that I really didn't have to do it alone.
←Rate | 02-18-2020 13:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad the earth is solving our over-population problem. Keep it up, mother earth.
←Rate | 03-22-2020 12:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The day my mother learned how to use emojis was the day I realized how good we had it with rotary phones
←Rate | 04-17-2020 13:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I’m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
←Rate | 04-19-2020 11:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lots of mothers are gonna be surprised when their Mother's Day gift is a barrel of oil
←Rate | 04-20-2020 17:36 by Hirit Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother's Day is over, back to making sandwiches.
←Rate | 05-11-2020 13:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”
←Rate | 06-17-2020 15:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”
←Rate | 06-19-2020 08:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let’s join our hands together and pray for my husband who very tragically compared me to my mother.
←Rate | 06-29-2020 10:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your sister wives’ moms are technically mother-in-against-the-laws
←Rate | 07-06-2020 12:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ted Mosby, in the year 2030, told the story of how he met his children’s mother and HE NEVER MENTIONED THE CORONAVIRUS ONCE
←Rate | 08-07-2020 09:03 Comments (0)  




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