Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 3011 of 6367
I wonder if the guy that changes Casey Anthony's oil knows a thing or two about brakes and being a national hero?
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07-16-2011 11:15
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“Even in a happy relationship, it's seems to be possible to have a wandering eye or even crave affection from another person.
I was so depressed last night and called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck….
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10-24-2010 07:46 by thullqst
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I'm wondering what we can trade Obama for ???
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06-06-2014 08:49
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I'd imagine that muslim sex dolls blow themselves up.
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04-01-2012 10:37 by Baddie
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Gee. Lets ask an openly christian man who owns a chain of restaurants that are closed on Sunday what his beliefs on gay marriage are, then act surprised when we find out his beliefs.... Idiots.
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07-27-2012 22:42 by Michael
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purposely pouring water on Gremlins
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05-08-2008 21:23
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processing please wait
Jesus, take the wheel. My beer just rolled under the seat..
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01-20-2011 15:43 by Aaron
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Verizon's new slogan: Kenya hear me now.
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06-10-2013 11:13
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[How Most Wars Have Started Between Countries] "You believe in God?", "No" , (BANG!!). or "You believe in God?" , "Yes" , "You believe in MY God?" , "No" , (BANG!!)
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08-26-2011 12:18 by Danmanz
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I just googled 2013 and it said the new Batman movie comes out SO TAKE THAT MAYANS.
I've Decided To Get MARRIED :All Women May Now FORM AN ORDERLY LINE...... .. Only The Most Beautiful Or The Very Rich Women Need Apply . . Please Send Me A Private Message With Your Photo or A copy Of Your Bank Balance ,The Winner Will Notified By email
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12-19-2010 08:41 by Danny
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I saw an Indian guy violently shaking a rug, I suppose to clean it. I couldn't help myself, I asked "Can't get it started?"
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06-08-2010 19:04
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She is so slutty, her facebook wall has a glory hole!
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09-20-2010 18:38
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Spiderman isnt the only one that gets sticky hands after using the Web all day...... If you know what I mean ;)
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09-08-2012 20:28 by jitney
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Omicron and Delta is an anagram for Media Control.
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12-06-2021 16:27
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I told my wife when I said I liked it rough I didn't mean my whole life.
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03-02-2022 13:17
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Dear Taylor Swift, Kanye took your microphone not your virginity. Let's move on...
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10-24-2010 14:52
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says, forgive your enemies, but remember their names.
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12-25-2009 17:46 by mullerman
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