Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Two girls talking. 1st girl: I've been ask lots of times to get married. 2nd girl: Was it by the same guy? 1st girl: No, by my mother.

   My mother taught me to never argue with strangers on the Internet. She said I must agree to meet them in real life, and then punch them in the face.

   . My mother in-law is drowning, I've informed emergency services. Hope they get my letter in time to save her.

   Switching off my mother inlaw's life support machine was very difficult. I had to fight off a doctor, a nurse and two security guards. Beeeeeeeep

   Its still winter because Mother Nature saw all our summer bodies and decided we weren't ready yet.

   Kid, “Did you feel that? Was that an earthquake?” Husband, “No it was just your mother coming down the stairs.” And that, folks, is how to end a marriage in 10 words or less.

   Another woman cause me to leave my wife. It was her mother.

   Gave my boss a mother's day card. Because "he" is one of the top ten mothers on my list.

   I've noticed that the most attractive women always drive those cute little cars! Which reminds me...the mother-in-law's Panzer needs an oil change!!

   When my mother in-law said she wants to be creamated. I immediatley made her an appointment for next week.

   using Just For Men on your mother in laws mustache at night wrong ? Asking for a friend ..

   Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?..... Because neither one of them had a mother in-law.

   Well, I guess we are going to see "The Nutcracker" on Saturday! My mother-in-law, not the play.......

   My mother never saw the iorny in calling me a s.o.b.

   My mother in-law is so ugly, even a boiling tea kettle won't give her a whistle.

   My mother inlaw standing in front of a mirror: "I feel fat and ugly." . Me to make her feel better: "Well at lease your eye sight is good."

   In sept 1945 I wish "he" was shot into space instead of his mother being impregnated with him.

   The penalty for bigamy is having two mother in-laws.

   I see the mother in law's put up a new profile pic! It's got 23 yikes already!

   Mother Goose Haiku: Old Mother Hubbard Looked in cupboard for dog food Nothing for that dog.