nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages
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not saying that "The Who" are old, but half of the people watching the superbowl last night were wondering "Who are those guys playing the CSI theme song?"
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02-08-2010 18:29 by dane
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thinks that marriage should be like football; you must show up fully committed and prepared and score every opportunity you get!
Reasons Why Guys Stop Texting Girls: 1) He's Busy. 2) You didn't send nudes. 3) He has beer and football. 4) It's only been a day, calm down psycho.
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04-28-2016 16:38
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watching football the same way Colin Kaepernick does... sitting on my couch
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09-07-2017 21:37
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I live by my father's motto: "Life is a football game. Try to fall asleep in the first quarter and complain if anyone shuts off the TV."
Glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 10:00 AM on a Saturday.
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08-30-2012 19:39 by @cdrizzzy
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Drank like 3 Four Lokos and some hand sanitizer last night, blacked out and apparently officiated a Monday Night Football game.
I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.
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02-20-2016 05:24
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I just got a call from the NFL office...they must have gotten wind of that 1 flag football game I ref'd in 2002
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09-25-2012 21:26 by xi0n
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My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
I just learned that to burn off the calories from 1 M&M you have to walk the length of a football field. BRB I have to run to China.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
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07-02-2010 22:53
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Why do men like football? Because the biggest priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man's life.... Scoring and Ball Security.
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12-14-2012 10:58
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My favorite thing about Basketball is when it's Football.
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11-25-2012 17:17 by snotty
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Just got back from my high school Football coach's funeral. I leaned over the casket and whispered "YOU walk it off".
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12-15-2011 09:18
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..... Personally, I think a man with a helmet defending his country should make a lot more money than a man with a helmet defending a football.
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09-20-2016 18:19
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I hope your favorite football team wins so that it changes your life in no way whatsoever.
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01-09-2014 00:46 by Czovczov
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When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
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10-15-2016 05:48
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Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
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08-25-2013 12:25 by Baddie
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Out on the highway, getting passed by a Prius is the football equivalent of getting tackled by the kicker.
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11-24-2015 14:19
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