JMartin Funny Status Messages

   I just met a nerdy spider. He`s a web designer.

   I have ADHD. Yup..... high-definition TV in the years after the birth of Jesus.

   If one more person calls me dramatic, I swear to Christ I'm going to burn the world down.

   In over 75% of mass shootings in the states the shooters obtained their weapons legally. You can't regulate insanity, but you can regulate guns.

   My new years resolution for 2013? I will be less laz

   Get off goddamn Internet, go out & live your life! I'll be here when you get back. :)

   No smartphones for my kids. They need to suffer from years of fleeting, awkward eye contact with strangers like I did.

   NASA has confirmed that on December 21, late afternoon, the sky will go very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".

   Arguing with strangers on the internet is like the Special Olympics. You might win, but you're still retarded! :)

   I once dated a guy named Dave who hated to be called David. Then, I dated a guy named John, who really hated to be called David.

   Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He's never gonna give you Up.