santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Due to the extreme coal shortage, Santa will be giving out Justin Bieber cds to all the bad kids this year.
←Rate | 12-14-2022 17:38 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish Santa would just dump 100ft of coal around Biden and Nancy Pelosi's house.
←Rate | 12-13-2022 09:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh! Oh! Oh!" ~Dyslexic Santa
←Rate | 12-12-2022 06:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa, you break into people's houses and eat their cookies; don't judge me.
←Rate | 12-12-2022 06:02 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every year, my Christmas list begins with "Dear Santa, my sisters did it. But I have been very good this year, because I'm an angel!
←Rate | 12-10-2022 16:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sure hope you like your Christmas gift... It's a year's supply of me!
←Rate | 12-09-2022 09:53 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa: For Christmas this year I want a fat bank account and a slim body with sexy abs, but let's not get it mixed up like you did last year.
←Rate | 12-07-2022 22:04 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got Christmas card glitter all over me and now I can't stop stripping.
←Rate | 12-07-2022 09:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't laugh at adults that still believe in Santa Clause, we have adults that still believe in Joe's build back better.
←Rate | 12-07-2022 09:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am the reason Santa has a naughty list.
←Rate | 12-03-2022 13:03 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa, you must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during deer season?
←Rate | 12-02-2022 07:44 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa! I want a fat bank account and a sexy body with rock hard abs for Christmas. Let's not get those two mixed up like you did last year.
←Rate | 12-01-2022 19:21 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow is December 1st.... The time when it’s totally fine to put Peppermint Schnapps in your coffee every morning now till Christmas Eve!
←Rate | 11-30-2022 12:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just returned from a Christmas concert put on by the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra, Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared.
←Rate | 11-30-2022 12:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They need to stop remaking A Christmas Carol. The Muppets did it the best. Everyone else needs to sit down and move on
←Rate | 11-30-2022 09:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a problem with gingerbread people living in houses made of their flesh, but I promised not to bring it up again and ruin Christmas again this year.
←Rate | 11-29-2022 12:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down you’re almost there
←Rate | 11-28-2022 09:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas play
←Rate | 11-28-2022 04:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spotted a house tonight with their Christmas lights already up in October and can only imagine that they work for Walmart.
←Rate | 10-08-2022 01:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 03:27 Comments (0)  




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