oregon Funny Status Messages

   Obama got pulled over today and they asked him for his birth certificate and school transcript

   How long will it take our government to have a zombie vaccination

   All this news about Zombies you better go get your Zombie vaccinations..

   A friend said lunch tomorrow and lets go "DUTCH" So I showed up with my DUTCH oven ready to go..

   Desperate Housewives is on my TV.... I am DESPERATE trying to find the remote to turn this crap off!!

   I remember back in the day I used to kill myself getting to a ringing telephone... Now I don't even get up because the caller ID is on my TV...

   Dear Mr Sandman ~ I think you lost my address for some reason. If you want to bring me a dream you can deposit it in my bank account!!

   When OBAMA said he is going to get the jobs back from China were the jobs swimming back to America, because it is taking awhile

   Due to the economy......The 5 second rule has been upgraded to the 10 second rule. We just can't afford to be throwing away food....

   OBAMA State Of the Union Address tonight!!! It is going to literally knock your Taxes off!!

   Obama to visit Disney World on Thursday. I guess they are planning on expanding and hiring more people or he just wants another vacation

   It is safe to cook a turkey from the frozen state. The cooking time will take at least 50 percent longer....... REDNECK COOKIN

   They are out hunting Duck at the protective wildlife refuge. Who is protected me or the wildlife?

   why did the chicken cross the road? To show POSSUM's that it can be done!!

   The Philadelphia man that bought a $4.00 painting but inside is a $2.5 million dollar worth Declaration of Independence document. Ok the song Philadelphia Freedom comes to mind

   I took one of my wife's vitamins this morning if anybody wants to go shoe shopping or ask my opinion on curtains, call me

   Something couples do together that causes breakups is called Home Improvement

   It's Labor Day weekend and I am still deep in LABOR.......

   I just heard Steve Jobs Resigned from Apple Computers. His last thing to show people today was called a iquit.....

   Obama is going to announce a new plan to get Americans back to work but it won't air until after Labor day.