Jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When prince charming kisses a teenage girl in a coma he's a romantic hero. When I do it I'm a pervert.
←Rate | 07-06-2018 20:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your house is dirty when people wipe their feet when they are leaving.
←Rate | 07-06-2018 04:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always plan ahead...... It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't need Google...... My wife knows everything.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:53 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The cemical formula for holly water: H2 OMG
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:41 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon My lesbian neighbors got me a timex for my birth day. But I don't think they understood when I said I wana watch.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank you student loans for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:28 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Father inlaw: A priest who is also a lawyer.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:24 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where do crazy people ride their bikes? On a psychopath.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 16:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The definition of surprise: a fart with a lump in it.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 16:26 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gynaecologist: A female private investigator.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 16:24 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's better for people to think you're a fool then open your mouth and remove all dout.
←Rate | 07-03-2018 14:21 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon A man of few words is a married man.
←Rate | 07-01-2018 19:40 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how much you shake your peg...... The last drop always goes down your leg.
←Rate | 07-01-2018 03:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When things get to stressful I hit the jim.......... Beam.
←Rate | 06-29-2018 23:25 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Both corn and beer looks the same on the way in as they do on the way out.
←Rate | 06-29-2018 20:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A person who is bad at math should never take a calculated risk.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 22:40 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before I die I'm going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 22:30 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I live in a small town where the population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregant a guy leaves town.
←Rate | 06-27-2018 21:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Difference between a G spot and a golf ball. Guys will search for a golf ball.
←Rate | 06-27-2018 21:24 by Jake Comments (0)  


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