Jake Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Jake': View All Messages
Page: 3 of 4

   messageicon New breakfast cereal called Prosatooties. They don't snap crackle or pop. They just in the bowl and smile at you.
←Rate | 09-17-2017 00:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon 911: What's the emergency? Man: My wife keeps shining her laserlight pointer light on me. 911: How is that an emergency ? Man: Her laserlight pointer is attached to her gun.
←Rate | 09-12-2017 21:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another good feeling. Waking up and realizing that it's sunday and not monday morning. AAAAAH......zzzzzzz.
←Rate | 09-12-2017 21:17 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon What is only a small box, but weighs over 250 pounds? A scale
←Rate | 09-12-2017 09:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a gay casino, a queen beats a straight every time.
←Rate | 09-10-2017 02:06 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon We were so poor. That one birthday my gift was a pack of batteries with a note, toys not included.
←Rate | 09-05-2017 16:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you know why it's mandatory for female paratroopers to wear pants ? It's to prevent them from whistling on their way down.
←Rate | 09-04-2017 13:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A person who says that sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me. Has never been hit with a large dictionary.
←Rate | 09-03-2017 02:50 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most wives don't mind if their husband bring some work home to do. But my sister does, her husband is a mortician.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 15:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most wives don't mind if their husband brings some work home with them to do. But my sister sure does. Her husband is a mortician.
←Rate | 09-01-2017 23:28 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feeling down? Just play your wedding tape backwards and you'll feel better.
←Rate | 08-31-2017 17:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone really ever listen to the wedding march melody? Dumb dumb de dumb ...... Dumb dumb de dumb.
←Rate | 08-31-2017 01:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who don't have a dog, have to pick the food up them self that they drop on the floor .
←Rate | 08-30-2017 20:47 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon During my vacation, I learned alot about my self. The main thing I learned was, not to take another vacation.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 21:36 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can not use the 5 second rule when you drop a hotdog on the floor if you have a 3 second dog.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 18:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Quickest way to get a person to call you back. Take a bath.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 04:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is so fat, that she only needs a cup of water in the tub to take a bath.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 19:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon . Have you heard the saying the truth will set you free? I told the judge the truth and got three years.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 18:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon . I think mydog looks out the window when I leave for work to see that's it safe to lay on the sofa.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 17:56 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watched my cat play with a ball of yarn for 5 minutes. And thougt how easily their entertained. Then realized, I just watched my cat play with a ball of yarn for 5 minutes.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 15:13 by Jake Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left