psycho Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
←Rate | 03-06-2015 00:47 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't wanna make this weird but that's just kinda how I do things.
←Rate | 03-03-2015 12:23 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
←Rate | 02-27-2015 00:16 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop pulled me over this morning but let me go. Maybe these man boobs aren't all bad after all!
←Rate | 02-10-2015 15:48 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
←Rate | 02-02-2015 12:01 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon [Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop you right there
←Rate | 01-31-2015 09:48 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much for the angry lawn gnome? Hey, that's my toddler.
←Rate | 01-30-2015 06:32 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you're so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?
←Rate | 01-30-2015 06:16 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop.
←Rate | 01-25-2015 06:24 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That's really not necessary
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:42 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon [breaks apart couple holding hands] You're free now
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:15 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I stalked you any harder you'd be a missing person by now.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 11:31 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the can.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 14:23 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl punched me today. Does that still mean she likes me? And if so, why the mace?
←Rate | 12-13-2014 13:17 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got tasered at speed dating again.
←Rate | 12-11-2014 00:42 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try, but you're not getting rid of me that easily.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 08:39 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll stop being creepy when you stop sending me telepathic messages that you secretly want me.
←Rate | 11-20-2014 11:36 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon People with multiple personalities scare me. Speak for yourself b*tch. That's right, you heard him.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 00:47 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 00:29 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Knock on your neighbors door and ask if they've seen your cat. When they say no pull your cat out of your pocket and make the introductions
←Rate | 10-22-2014 12:15 by Psycho Comments (0)  




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