cj Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Toy Story must have been written by a woman. Who else would name their toys Woody and Buzz!!
←Rate | 01-06-2012 20:20 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Yellow Pages delivery guy, Could you please just deliver those to my recycle bin......it'll save me a step.
←Rate | 01-04-2012 12:43 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because I liked your status, doesn't mean I actually read it. More to make you feel like someone actually cares about what you have to say.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 20:23 by Cj Comments (0)  


   messageicon You people that are all cleaned up with the tree out of the house need to stop showing off. The rest of us are drowning in cardboard boxes and pine needles.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 22:47 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate the smell of Walmart when I walk in. It smells like old beer and subway. Merry Christmas everyone!
←Rate | 12-24-2011 16:55 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon So here's the deal... If I wanna hear about god or religion I'll go to church... So, if I delete you... You know why, Just a heads up....
←Rate | 12-22-2011 12:39 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretending that the laser pointer app on your phone tells you if your kid brushed his teeth good enough..priceless!
←Rate | 12-17-2011 22:16 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon IHOP is like Walmart but with pancakes.
←Rate | 12-04-2011 20:32 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think about this. Somebody in the world right now couldn't imagine life without you. That alone should give you the strength to smile.
←Rate | 11-21-2011 20:13 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon “So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?
←Rate | 11-17-2011 21:10 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you know why Californians love Thanksgiving Day?...It's the only time of year they get to see natural breast!
←Rate | 11-16-2011 10:34 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon God must love stupid people. He made so many.
←Rate | 11-12-2011 12:19 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent Condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything."
←Rate | 11-12-2011 12:10 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laughter burns calories.
←Rate | 11-12-2011 11:59 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything, and everybody believed in you?
←Rate | 10-24-2011 19:51 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess who just discovered the bipolar emoticon? :):
←Rate | 09-28-2011 13:19 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time I've ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 11:48 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you noticed each generation is getting ruder and shorter?
←Rate | 09-28-2011 11:47 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should've listened the first time
←Rate | 09-28-2011 11:45 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow The ones u'd take a bullet for are the ones holding the trigger!!
←Rate | 09-23-2011 19:40 by CJ Comments (0)  




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