Zinc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wanna steal a Krispy Kreme truck then go on a high speed chase becuase it will be funny to watch a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:10 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I totally get why women are attracted to men who ride motorcycles. Like you increase your chances of getting to have two husbands by a lot.
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:58 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say eye contact is important when flirting, but when I put my finger in someone's eye they never seem to like it.
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:55 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon "YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?" - guy that just got a new kite for his birthday
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in a gang once — we used to carry pocket knives & wear all green with blood-red bandanas around our neck. Wait, that was Boy Scouts.
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:53 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget to cut me off so you can be the first person to the red light.
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:52 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!
←Rate | 02-24-2015 18:16 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold out I've just turned 50 Shades Of Blue!
←Rate | 02-24-2015 18:14 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
←Rate | 02-24-2015 18:14 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
←Rate | 02-24-2015 18:13 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer.
←Rate | 02-24-2015 18:12 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep
←Rate | 01-12-2015 13:19 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everthing will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, then it's not the end
←Rate | 01-12-2015 13:18 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congress always makes me feel nostalgic for college when I waited for the last minute to do work and blame anyone but myself.
←Rate | 01-11-2015 21:13 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the form of public transit most rife with filth and disease? Let's name our sandwich shop after it
←Rate | 01-11-2015 21:08 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon NASA found methane on Mars! Proving once again that no matter how ancient a civilization is, it's farts that truly endure.
←Rate | 01-11-2015 21:06 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what gets changed less frequently...the diaper of a crackhead's baby or the filter cartridge in my Brita.
←Rate | 01-11-2015 21:05 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parent's kitchen was designed with 11 light switches, all of which turn on the garbage disposal if you're trying to be quiet
←Rate | 01-11-2015 21:04 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does JK Rowling text her friends to let them know that she was just kidding?
←Rate | 01-11-2015 21:03 by Zinc Comments (1)  




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