XX-FOXY Funny Status Messages

   Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!!

   Best friends in life are those who stand behind you during bad times… To know who our best friends are, just look at your marriage photo album…

   I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog

   Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding!

   I really think the Mars Rover is scouting for the next Wal-Mart Superstore site.

   An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance!

   Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

   Honey, I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder...

   24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?

   When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

   Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion

   Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

   I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

   Seeking a meaningful, romantic and deep overnight relationship... PM inbox for details... P.S. With Gas price at $4.25 a gallon, I'm not coming over "just to chill"

   If you are in very psychological relationship... Make sure (s)he's psycho and you're logical

   If all men are pigs and they are all the same, then why does it take so damn long for women to choose one?

   Oh WoW! You've dropped out of school to pursue your dreams? Really? How brave!!!.... Now…I'll have a number 3, no cheese, extra Jalapenos and diet Pepsi to go…

   Ladies: Never die a virgin! Apparently when you get to heaven a virgin you get to be one of the 70 wives of a suicide bomber…

   Dear Syrian President Bashar Assad: if you are going to use human shields to protect yourself from rebel attacks, may I suggest using Snookie, Justin Bieber and Kardashians?

   I'd love to get a hold of Mitt Romney and ask him who does his taxes…