Tim Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Tim': View All Messages
Page: 3 of 5

   messageicon wonders if suacide bombers text. "BRB ... J/K! I won't BRB." Or, "TTFN SYIHW72V" = ta ta for now, see you in heaven with 72 virgins.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:35 by Tim Comments (1)  


   messageicon wonders if there are gay terrorists. "Hey, Mr. Embassy man... two snaps ka-boom!"
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:32 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if there are gay terrorists. I bet they'd wear fancy explosive underwear.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:30 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon has a thing going with X's wife. Wait... all this third person stuff has X and me confused!
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:29 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks you're his smartest and best-looking friend on Facebook. (Thanks for not telling the others.)
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:26 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon living each day as if it were his last: That Korean massage parlor is on to him though. They stopped giving him dying-day happy-ending discounts.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 19:02 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon living each day as if it were his last: The cashier at Krispy Kreame knows him by name.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 19:00 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon | That whale grabbed the trainer by the ponytail and took her under. That is why that advice to, "remember when working with seafood, to always wear a hair net" is so important.
←Rate | 02-27-2010 08:46 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard some folks trying to change the name of Killer Whale to something less threatening. Sea World, Killer Whale was quoted as saying, "I'm back baby!"
←Rate | 02-27-2010 08:42 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon and always will be the man (most of you have to grow some before using this)
←Rate | 02-21-2010 00:23 by tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some stuff gets better with age, other stuff feels the effects of gravity.
←Rate | 02-07-2010 00:27 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon just saw a Prius with that brake problem. It was barreling down the road at speeds exceeding 35 MPH.
←Rate | 02-05-2010 22:20 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't think you should put the pedal to the medal in that Toyota.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 08:23 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fripple - adj. Cold enough to freeze nipples. (etymology: combination of the words frozen and nipple) Ex. It is fripple cold outside,
←Rate | 01-07-2010 09:42 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon • Do you know one good thing about Monday? ...I can't think of anything either. OK Monday, here I come.
←Rate | 12-31-2009 00:33 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon shocked by the attempted plane bombing. After all those emails about lotteries and wealthy strangers who want to transfer hundreds of thousands to my account, he thought we could trust the Nigerians.
←Rate | 12-31-2009 00:30 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon ... so the failed bomb was sewn to the inside of his underpants? How does that impact his hope of 72 virgins? Just imagine his expression as they stomped out the fire. :O
←Rate | 12-31-2009 00:28 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking about an Apple sporting goods store: iBalls
←Rate | 12-10-2009 21:33 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's on my mind? Let's peer inside and listen... "Meow, meow, meow, meow..." Wow! That was akward. 
←Rate | 12-10-2009 08:15 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon wouldn't join any club that would accept him as a member.
←Rate | 12-05-2009 20:58 by Tim Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left