Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sending us to the couch is not as bad as you think it is ladies. It makes us feel manly... like we're camping... with an angry bear nearby.
←Rate | 10-07-2015 19:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed yo midunderstanding you.
←Rate | 05-12-2014 09:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never would've noticed that you removed me as a friend, until you tried to add me back.
←Rate | 05-12-2014 09:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I'm now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 23:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lamar Odom is missing and is a crackhead. Let that be a lesson guys, NEVER date a Kardashian.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 23:12 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how long it will take for the Adult XXX 'Hannah does Montana' video series to come out?
←Rate | 08-27-2013 23:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are a dog catcher and don't have a "pug life" tattoo you are doing the whole life thing wrong.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 23:02 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just read a sign that says "Watch for Deer" and I was like "No, I don't take orders from a sign." Hahaha... No but seriously, it's been like 16 hours and I haven't seen anything.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 23:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want you all to know that this will be my last joke on here because I am going to die at midnight tonight as a result of not forwarding chain mail.
←Rate | 08-25-2013 03:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bored at work? Put some habanero hot sauce in the office ketchup bottle. Still bored? Pour it in the office coffee pot.
←Rate | 08-24-2013 22:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain't Bad.
←Rate | 08-24-2013 22:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: "Do I look, like, fat?" Brain: no, no, no, no Brain: Of course not. Brain: Say SOMETHING. Mouth: "Like a fat what?" Brain: Oh dear God
←Rate | 08-24-2013 22:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to have a life. Then some idiot came along and said "Why don’t you make a Facebook account? It's fun."
←Rate | 08-24-2013 22:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My coworker sent me an email that said "Meat me in the breakroom." I thought it was a typo until I saw her standing there naked.
←Rate | 08-24-2013 22:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are the one who stole my computer yesterday, please disregard the folder labeled, "Nature photographs." Thanks.
←Rate | 08-24-2013 22:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
←Rate | 08-24-2013 22:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon One day, the fridge will take revenge on me,.. Every half hour opening the door to my room, staring at me for a few minutes and then walk away.
←Rate | 08-24-2013 21:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been hearing how nowadays 16 and 17 year old couples be spending the night at each other house. I'm not sure how y'all parents are but mine didn't play that sh*t.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 12:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Axel Rose don't say, "Down on your sha, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, knees." before getting a BJ... then he's not as cool as I thought he was.
←Rate | 07-18-2013 19:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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