Markf Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Next time you find yourself complaining on your $600 smartphone, put it down and rethink your life.
←Rate | 09-16-2017 22:36 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my $2 Sportsclips coupon already told you I am not interested in the $60 shampoo, but thanks for showing it to me anyway.
←Rate | 09-12-2017 00:34 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember son -- when you text a girl, you are also texting at least 5 of her friends.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 23:44 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to make a millenial laugh: tell them you have only 22 photos of your entire childhood.
←Rate | 08-20-2017 09:46 by MarkF Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love talking to small children. No adult is ever going to ask me what my 3rd favorite dinosaur is.
←Rate | 08-20-2017 09:27 by Markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
←Rate | 01-24-2017 19:22 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wondering if celebrities hang pictures in their homes of famous restaurant owners.
←Rate | 06-12-2014 10:35 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Email your congressman and demand recognition for Precedents Day! So what if we never had one before.
←Rate | 06-12-2014 10:12 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that presidential spokesman Jay Carney is no longer a government employee, I am expecting him to rush right out and sign up for ObamaCare.
←Rate | 06-01-2014 08:30 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Casey Kasem found safe today in Washington state. Overheard nearby: "And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you darn kids."
←Rate | 05-15-2014 21:31 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wish my Google phone had "I'm Feeling Lucky" button when I want to be the 10th caller.
←Rate | 05-15-2014 11:23 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my superpower is making mountains out out of molehills.
←Rate | 05-04-2014 18:39 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hawaiian Airlines is now offering cheaper flights to Honolulu, with only a single stop to change wheel wells at San Jose.
←Rate | 04-27-2014 22:53 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon So would the ACLU defend me if I protested and burned down ACLU headquarters?
←Rate | 03-27-2014 20:57 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon NFL announces no more goal dunking allowed. Oakland Raiders reply with a public statement: "No effect on us."
←Rate | 03-26-2014 14:49 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need an alarm clock with a snooze button that sounds like a pack of snarking wolves.
←Rate | 03-21-2014 10:41 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon 10 yr old suspended from school for pointing finger like a gun. Where will this end? If fingers are outlawed, only 10 yr olds will have fingers.
←Rate | 03-07-2014 11:03 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon In every crowd there's that guy that used to work in an Inspirational Poster factory.
←Rate | 02-28-2014 16:33 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were at a Beatles tribute concert and you fell and hurt yourself, what would you yell?
←Rate | 02-19-2014 08:27 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was late getting to the Super Bowl party and missed the first 15 seconds, but the game was already over.
←Rate | 02-03-2014 11:20 by markf Comments (0)  


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