Huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Back in my day recess was where they sent us to play on a rusty death trap and now kids can't eat gluten.
←Rate | 05-31-2015 07:47 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon We're told constantly to follow our dreams. Well, my dream is to thwart every single other human's dream.
←Rate | 05-30-2015 06:17 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about walking a mile in my shoes. Just try spending a day thinking in my head.
←Rate | 05-17-2015 13:34 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don't want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
←Rate | 05-12-2015 05:07 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
←Rate | 05-09-2015 16:03 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Brad Pitt gets sad on Christmas when one of his kids asks what's in the box
←Rate | 05-02-2015 21:40 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want to say I'm out of shape, but I can't even jog my memory without breaking a sweat.
←Rate | 04-29-2015 12:12 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
←Rate | 04-26-2015 08:06 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My exercise tape is just various clips of me driving past the gym.
←Rate | 04-13-2015 13:00 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn't get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn't brushed her teeth in forever.
←Rate | 04-11-2015 22:20 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wild horses could drag me away from anything. They're wild horses. The more important question is: who tied me to these wild horses?
←Rate | 04-08-2015 05:55 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:45 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tried meditating once but ended up taking a really great nap
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:31 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cupcakes are amazing, because holding a full size cake up to your face isn't socially acceptable for some reason.
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:30 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so old I remember when people didn't publicly express every feeling they had every moment they had it.
←Rate | 03-30-2015 05:47 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how "You're so funny" turns into "You think everything's a joke" in just 3 months...
←Rate | 03-30-2015 04:49 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out Bob Ross was once a military sergeant and now I'm picturing him yelling LOOK AT ALL THOSE HAPPY LITTLE TREES, MAGGOT
←Rate | 03-24-2015 05:44 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion is like what the heck am I doing here i'm a savannah animal
←Rate | 03-19-2015 13:58 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day I live in fear or becoming an infomercial person. Yesterday I fumbled a jar of cinnamon and cried for three hours.
←Rate | 03-19-2015 13:53 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to finish other people’s sentences because my version is better.
←Rate | 03-12-2015 05:40 by huck Comments (0)  



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