Hot Tea Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon What do you think it means if there's no fortune in your cookie?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 17:35 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon suffers occasional delusions of adequacy.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 00:51 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one that thinks it's creepy for women to call their men "Daddy"?
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:36 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I needed to find a donut shop. I didn't want to attempt to start up the GPS on my phone while driving. I followed a cop. It took 4 minutes.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 20:12 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Typical Saturday Morning: Who's bed is this and where are my pants?
←Rate | 06-25-2011 23:04 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the worst pain I've ever been in!! Hit a dry spot on a Slip n' Slide.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 23:03 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never dreamed that motherhood would include telling my boys: "Don't pee on the lawn mower!"
←Rate | 06-22-2011 02:20 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Westboro Baptist Cult, we have a funeral you can protest. It's in Pakistan, we'll help you pack. The Patriot Guard promises to not bother you
←Rate | 05-03-2011 03:17 by Hot Tea Comments (1)  


   messageicon Happy first Sunday following the full moon that occurs on or following the Vernal Equinox!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 14:25 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should have an option that says "On the Prowl" for your Relationship Status..." Single "just isn't cutting it .
←Rate | 03-27-2011 14:42 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if I'll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at every guy on the job and saying, “This thing is broken!!!” (for us females!!! :)
←Rate | 03-23-2011 06:44 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Consider the social cohesion and dignity of the Japanese people in the face of unimaginable catastrophe. Contrast that with the behavior of Americans when faced with Black Friday.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 18:00 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!"
←Rate | 03-11-2011 11:15 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon excited about Fat Tuesday! Not so excited about Headachey Wednesday though.
←Rate | 03-08-2011 18:17 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, I just txt'd my mom that the baby might have a black eye tomorrow. Her response? "What does the other baby look like?"
←Rate | 03-07-2011 20:26 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women have to shave our armpits. Whose idea was that? That's a concave area with a straight razor. The best I can do is a mohawk.
←Rate | 03-02-2011 00:41 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I gotta feeling... that tonight's gonna hurt the Black Eyed Peas"
←Rate | 02-06-2011 20:38 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon How is it my cat is only one foot tall but his azz is always at eye level?
←Rate | 01-28-2011 23:10 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon watched numerous horror movies without so much as a flinch, but I just crapped a brick when the toast popped up out of the toaster.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 21:00 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Plan B includes margaritas.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 22:03 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  




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