DeeX Funny Status Messages

   can we PLEASE stop using the term “beast mode”? Unless you’re running around jungle, naked, stalking and killing animals with your bare hands and eating them raw, you’re NOT a beast, you’re just another douchebag lifting weights in the gym…tha

   Pimpin' actually is pretty easy and I'm getting tired of everyone saying otherwise.

   I wanna go kick a pigeon.

   Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?

   I'm not sure if Internet p@rn has really ruined any relationships but I'm sure it's ruined some keyboards.

   How can you be a "natural" bodybuilder if you're cramming your body with protein powders, amino acids, and all other kinds of supplements?

   A friend of mine asked if I was coming to her wedding. I said no, I'll catch the next one. She's mad at me now.

   Just saw my ex with her new man and had to smile because I KNOW there's not a place on her he can kiss that hasn't been coated by my man gravy. :)

   Everyone becomes an air drumming master 3 minutes and 40 seconds into Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight".

   Man, I beat my meat like I just caught it breaking into my apartment.

   Did you guys hear about the new "Exorcist" movie? A woman hires the Devil to pull a priest out of her son. BADA BING BADA BOOM