Bill Funny Status Messages

   I'm not sure who the heck Martha Graham is, but damn she inspired a great Google Doodle today.........

   Alicia Silverstone named her son Bear Blue? I wonder if she would have liked it if her mother named her Racoon Red? WTF is wrong with these celebs........

   Oops....Apparently throwing fireworks at people in McDonald's parking lot & yelling Happy Cinco De Mayo is frowned upon : (

   For those who will celebrate Cinco de Mayo with "authentic" 36% beef tacos, we pray to the Lord.

   I had a thought......Maybe instead of defunding Sesame Street, we should defund Pakistan. F them losers!!

   I hope Obama held the gun sideways when he shot Bin Laden.

   Got Bin Laden AND interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win for Obama all around.

   I'm at the wedding, you guys just can't see me because I've got one of those weird hats on.

   ‎ I really hope Prince William doesn't get cold teeth, err, I mean feet!

   Now we finally know what Obama was hiding on his birth certificate. Under favorite band, it says: "Nickleback."

   BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump demands to know what country Latifah is the queen of...

   The strangest thing about Obama's birth certificate is that it lists Joe Biden as a witness to his birth. Other than that, it appears fine........

   living the dream ...one fist pump at a time

   I Haven't been to church in a couple years, sure hope I don't catch on fire........

   Happy Easter and remember kids, watch out for Obama supporters. They will take 1/2 your eggs and give them to the kids who were to lazy to hunt for their own......

   Screw Earth Day!! I used to be a planet too.... - Pluto

   Easter chocolate tastes so much better than normal chocolate...

   NEWS FLASH: 2 air traffic controllers fired for sleeping on the job, someone might want to wake them up to tell them the news.......

   Fast food places gonna be bumpin today, Happy 4/20 (̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~

   If only I had stuck with dodgeball since elementary. I could have gone pro.........