ff1241 Funny Status Messages

   People must do well to remember that a nose belongs on the face and not stuck in SOME OTHER PLACE.

   Someone make an I-phone app that can tell me what my blood alcohol level is. 

   Okay I have time to get an hour of sleep before I need to get ready for work. Bed get ready because this needs to be quick but meaningful.

   I think the guy in the Trojan personal messager commercial is way too happy that his girl friend got 3 of them

   found out what smoking is good for. Yuppie repellent. I'm now going to invest in a box of cigars.

   If I die young like in the next few days I blame it on the Girl Scouts and their evil cookies.

   has come to the conclusion the more women have seen naked by accident than on purpose.

   ready to have male pattern baldness become "in style"

   Lets just say I like my milk without the chunks. Don't ask me how I know this.

   I'm not drunk I'm just German

   It might be fat Tuesday today, but I'm fat everyday. So what's the big deal.

   Sometimes the only way to win is not to play the game.

   comment "An acute failure of the victim selection process." next time someone post the video of the fat kid body slaming the little bully

   the blue book value on my car just tripled...I filled the gas tank!

   Nothing makes me feel better about myself more than the stupidity of others.

   Quote of the night. "Sex dolls are not meant for speed."

   Unless you come from a ethnicity with a tribal history. Having a tribal tottoo just helps others point out just how stupid that your are. Yes white college boy I'm talking to you.

   If you need a car that dose the parallel parking for you then you should NOT be driving to begin with .

   Finding the lost TV remote I looked between the bed sheets. Just wish I could find a hot naked women there now and then.

   Before you fall in Love with a girl with spakling eyes. Make sure It's not the sun shining through the back of her head