timboss Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You couldn't chain me up and drag me into a WalMart today!
←Rate | 11-23-2012 13:10 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all the lies I've told in my life, "just kidding" is probably my favorite..
←Rate | 11-23-2012 13:13 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just googled, "Gift ideas for wife" One website suggested a cooking class. They must have thought I meant, "Gift ideas for wife if you want to sleep on the couch forever."
←Rate | 12-10-2012 00:17 by Timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got out of bed and decided I'd trim that annoying hair on my eyebrow that kept getting in my eye last night... Now I have half an eyebrow
←Rate | 01-16-2013 08:19 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sitting here watching "Undercover Boss" thinking.. Guy shows up at your job with a camera crew, screws everything up, gets you to reveal secrets about your personal life.. If you can't figure out what's going on, there's no hope left for you..
←Rate | 04-06-2013 05:34 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I'm scrolling through Facebook the first thing in the morning and accidentally run up on the three headed baby.. Eww
←Rate | 07-03-2013 09:31 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear History Channel, The Mayans were wrong.. We are not dead.. Everybody is still here. Please adjust your morning programing accordingly..
←Rate | 12-15-2015 09:32 by timboss Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or does el Chapo sound like a low budget Mexican Restauraunt? Where ya wanna go eat? I duuno.. Let's try el Chapo's
←Rate | 01-12-2016 03:56 by timboss Comments (0)  



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