hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I guess my main gifts are in the garage or still at the pet store or something. This is the only rational explanation I can think of.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:40 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Christmas I gave myself an obscene amount of vodka. I'm so thoughtful.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:14 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Merry Christmas! Or as my grandma always says, "there are whispers coming from the poinsettia again."
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:15 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas - when loved ones visit to celebrate someone born in a barn but complain that your sofabed's uncomfortable.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:16 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want a Christmas like we used to have with all of us together pretending we're enjoying it.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:17 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 07:56 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever there's an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
←Rate | 12-26-2011 07:57 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 07:57 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing more awkward then asking "who is this" when getting a heartfelt holiday text.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 07:58 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying you're easy, but when I look up something to do in your town it gives me your address.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 08:00 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids complaining they didn't get an iPhone for Christmas or got one in the wrong color is exactly why other countries hate us.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 16:39 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My New Year's resolution is to spend more time wishing my enemies were dead.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 16:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas is a good time to realize that not all your family are relatives, and not all your relatives are family.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 16:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once, I wish WebMD would tell me "relax...it's only gas".
←Rate | 12-27-2011 04:38 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The brawl at the Mall of America says more about our country than any five history books ever could.
←Rate | 12-27-2011 17:13 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
←Rate | 12-27-2011 17:14 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
←Rate | 12-27-2011 17:48 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think about running away from home more often as an adult than I ever did when I was a kid.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 16:38 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got legitimately excited when I remembered I can pay a person to drive a pizza to my house
←Rate | 12-28-2011 16:38 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon You say drug dealer, I say illegal happiness entrepreneur.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 16:39 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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