equaloppjoker Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I am always confused when I see a status message that isn't about me.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 03:21 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon WALMART, because going to TARGET requires taking a shower.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 03:27 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want your girlfriend. No one wants your girlfriend... Thats why she's with you!
←Rate | 02-01-2013 03:30 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I organized a threesome last night. There was a couple of no shows but I still had a great time!
←Rate | 02-01-2013 03:37 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found the pot at the end of the rainbow, and I smoked it!
←Rate | 02-01-2013 03:45 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you hear?? The Pope is giving up Jesus for Lent!!
←Rate | 02-11-2013 09:44 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I'm leaving!
←Rate | 03-04-2013 12:20 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon show me the benefits part and THEN i'll let you know if we can be friends
←Rate | 05-08-2013 18:06 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a dream that I killed all of the shirtless guys with their own swag...and their duckface girlfriends....I call it the YOLOcaust.
←Rate | 05-08-2013 18:19 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone walked up to me today and handed me a bible. So I flipped it open and autographed it. As I handed it back to the lady (who looked very confused), I smiled and said.. "It's always nice to meet a fan!"
←Rate | 05-15-2013 06:39 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are no stupid questions, But I have met a ton of inquisitive idiots.
←Rate | 05-20-2013 18:18 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Oh No!" "I forgot to pack an apple in my lunch and now there are doctors everywhere!"
←Rate | 05-30-2013 05:04 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon a ventriloquist. I can put my hand up your skirt and make your lips move!
←Rate | 05-30-2013 05:41 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking at a bar last night so I took a bus home. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but i've never driven a bus before!
←Rate | 06-03-2013 17:38 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a survival situation you can drink your own urine. Fortunately my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the bottle and I didn't need to.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 17:17 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I say the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with pie!
←Rate | 06-05-2013 04:35 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Florida....Where America goes to die.
←Rate | 06-05-2013 06:14 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon so powerful that a single one of my pubic hairs could shut down an entire restaraunt for a week!
←Rate | 06-06-2013 05:01 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon needs beer and a violent redhead with handcuffs
←Rate | 06-07-2013 04:14 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do Amish murderers get the acoustic chair?
←Rate | 06-10-2013 13:54 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  




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