abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

   would like to remind any unhappy souls today that St Valentine was beaten to death with clubs

   Happy Discount Chocolate Tuesday!

   There's nothing more exhilarating than playing air guitar in your underwear...

   I think when someone asks for advice they're really asking "want to start a debate?"

   Dont smoke...there are cooler ways to die.

   Leaving me a 3 minute voicemail is unnecessary

   Dear Facebook: Stop being like my mom and suggesting people for me to be friends with.

   I wish the camera would add ten pounds to my bank account

   Just got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it ... Sounds about right

   Just met one of those people that start laughing at things you said 10 minutes ago....because they just "got it"

   I'm not shy. I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.

   When I'm sad I just sing, and then I realize my voice is worse than my problems.

   Inside me is a skinny woman screaming to get out. I can usually shut her up with a cookie.

   Why do all the beautiful women with blond hair, dye their roots brown?

   Just texted "I still love you" to about 50 random phone numbers.

   Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right

   My ex said I would always have the key to her heart, so I take it that her new man is a locksmith?

   Your profile said you had a body like an amusement park, but when I met you it looked more like a trailer park. what gives?

   No matter what people think of you, walk around with your head held high. Multiple chins are not cute.

   Cutting education funding to help the economy is like planting chicken eggs rather than feeding the hen.