XXX-FUXY Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The local orphanage called and asked for a donation. So I sent over two of my neighbor's kids.
←Rate | 02-10-2012 07:11 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If each day is a gift, I'd like to know where to return for refund Mondays...
←Rate | 02-10-2012 07:13 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns... Ever notice how most womens problems begin with men???
←Rate | 02-10-2012 07:16 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the dude who flipped me off in the Starbucks parking lot for honking at him, before taking off like a maniac… You left your breakfast and coffee on top of your car…
←Rate | 02-11-2012 08:32 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to spend my Valentine's with the girl of my dreams… But she's gone by the time I'm awake…
←Rate | 02-14-2012 07:38 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Happy New Year 2000! Have a fantastic year, and successful 2000!” - New York Alzheimer's Society
←Rate | 02-15-2012 21:43 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to tell if a girl is right for you? Text her and say: “Hey I lost my cell phone… Can you call it???” If she calls, move on…
←Rate | 02-20-2012 10:34 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon A: I forgot my glasses, I can't read sh*t! B: You're not supposed to read sh*t, you're supposed to read books… Unless you're a Twilight fan. Then you read sh*t!
←Rate | 02-20-2012 10:42 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a date tonight...with my bed. We're totally gonna sleep together.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 10:45 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teacher: What comes after 69? Student: Mouthwash! Teacher: Get Out!
←Rate | 02-20-2012 10:48 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could turn invisible I'd go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he'd get would be amazing!
←Rate | 02-20-2012 10:55 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish my dog owned stuff so I could pee on it and ruin it to show him how it feels.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 13:48 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your girlfriend sees you blow drying pen*s and asks “what are you doing???” Never!!! Never ever tell her - "heating your dinner honey!!!"
←Rate | 03-07-2012 18:26 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow Justin Bieber still well and alive... Only in US and God Bless America! In most of countries, guys like him don't get to make it to sweet 16...
←Rate | 03-09-2012 18:44 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money cannot buy happiness but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
←Rate | 03-15-2012 08:43 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know some men got the craving for gold and silver. Others need lots of nice cars and thrill. And there're those that got the weakness for whiskey and women. When you boil it all down, what does a man really need? Just a smoke and a cup of coffee…
←Rate | 03-15-2012 16:43 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't think anyone loves you or cares about you, gimme me a call...I'll confirm that for you! (The Confirmation Service, 1-800-I-CONFIRM)
←Rate | 03-20-2012 19:37 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dick Cheney underwent a heart transplant operation??? Wow! That proves he did have heart in the first place...
←Rate | 03-25-2012 11:54 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear FB Friend #253. If you have a problem with me for “being politically incorrect and insensitive to other people's feelings”, please write it nicely on a piece of paper, then type it, put it in an envelope, fold it , stamp it and shove it up your
←Rate | 03-29-2012 17:51 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon A furniture for my mother in law's birthday??? Thank you honey... I think coffin just sounds right...
←Rate | 04-04-2012 18:11 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  



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