Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon accidentally swallowed some food colouring yesterday. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever watched birds and wondered: "If I could fly who would I crap on first?"
←Rate | 03-04-2010 21:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon was thinking about starting a facebook addiction group, but wouldn't that be like starting an alcoholics annonymous at a bar?
←Rate | 03-04-2010 22:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a tiger wood.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 23:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon not a stalker. Look! Here's a picture of you in the shower... am I in it? Nooooo!
←Rate | 03-05-2010 00:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
←Rate | 03-05-2010 17:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know that when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm out and smack 'em in the head?
←Rate | 03-06-2010 21:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unfortunetley for me, mirrors dont talk. Lucky for you, they dont laugh either.
←Rate | 03-07-2010 20:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't have a girlfriend, but he does know a woman who'd be mad at him for saying that.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon My career plans were much more exciting when I was five.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always wanted to be somebody. Now I realize that I should have been more specific.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon would be more willing to accept people for who they are if they were more like how I wanted them to be.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 18:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what the person who discovered milk was doing with the cow...
←Rate | 03-11-2010 20:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is like air... it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
←Rate | 03-12-2010 14:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want a Toyota even more than before. Now if you get pulled over you can blame the accelerator!
←Rate | 03-12-2010 14:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.
←Rate | 03-15-2010 09:45 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a guy takes Viagra and his erection does last more than 4 hours, do you HONESTLY think he calls his doctor to complain or does he go through his phone and line up his booty calls???
←Rate | 03-15-2010 09:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon used Tag bodywash this morning and was looking forward to a goodtime before work. Unfortunately, no girls busted through walls or outran cheetahs to ravage me, dammit.
←Rate | 03-15-2010 09:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it should be illegal to do construction, mow, and/or weed whack before noon.
←Rate | 03-15-2010 10:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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