MBH Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wonder how stupid people knew they were being stupid before the slap to the back of the head was invented?
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:50 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes late at night I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:51 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't say something nice, we're probably related.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:53 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon MTV has 'My Super Sweet 16' and 'When I Was 17.' What's next? 'Officer, I swear I thought she was 18?!'
←Rate | 08-25-2010 12:56 by MBH Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sometimes all I'm really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 13:13 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun idea: No kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. When you get home later that evening, go mental and ask where the child has gone.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 15:16 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mr. Dentist you can b*tch at me all day to start flossing, but the truth is I'm more likely to watch Jersey Shore than I am to floss. I'd rather have a pincone shoved up my a$$ than watch jersey shore. So unless you've got a pinecone, stop wasting my time
←Rate | 08-25-2010 22:54 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon That psychic was terrible. She didn't even know I was going to run out without paying!
←Rate | 08-25-2010 23:17 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah, come on over we're just pre-gaming for the grocery store.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 23:21 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are there any workout programs that target the face? You really need one of those.
←Rate | 08-25-2010 23:22 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon So gingivitis isn't the fear of redheads?
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:40 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fastest way to get ahold of a live person at AT&T is to scream obscenities at the voice prompts.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:41 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I get rich the first thing I'm going to do is to buy a new butt, because the one I have now has a crack in it.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:42 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama says... It would be very helpful to me if the rest of you would please stop striving for excellence.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:45 by MBH Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just got a job that pays .000002 million!!
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:47 by MBH Comments (3)  


   messageicon ... CAT RULE #2: Get plenty of sleep so you can play at 4am
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:51 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never going to grow up. I'm just going to stop hiding what I do from my parents and start hiding it from my kids.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 16:54 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was older I used to love playing around with time machines.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 17:49 by MBH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and then a diet coke?
←Rate | 08-26-2010 19:39 by MBH Comments (6)  


   messageicon I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and says, "Oh look at that!" Then whoosh, and I'm gone... and they'll never see anything like it ever again... and they won't be able to forget me - ever.
←Rate | 08-26-2010 23:35 by MBH Comments (0)  




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