Hot Tea Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon They should have an option that says "On the Prowl" for your Relationship Status..." Single "just isn't cutting it .
←Rate | 03-27-2011 14:42 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy first Sunday following the full moon that occurs on or following the Vernal Equinox!
←Rate | 04-24-2011 14:25 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Westboro Baptist Cult, we have a funeral you can protest. It's in Pakistan, we'll help you pack. The Patriot Guard promises to not bother you
←Rate | 05-03-2011 03:17 by Hot Tea Comments (1)  


   messageicon I never dreamed that motherhood would include telling my boys: "Don't pee on the lawn mower!"
←Rate | 06-22-2011 02:20 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the worst pain I've ever been in!! Hit a dry spot on a Slip n' Slide.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 23:03 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Typical Saturday Morning: Who's bed is this and where are my pants?
←Rate | 06-25-2011 23:04 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I needed to find a donut shop. I didn't want to attempt to start up the GPS on my phone while driving. I followed a cop. It took 4 minutes.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 20:12 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one that thinks it's creepy for women to call their men "Daddy"?
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:36 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon suffers occasional delusions of adequacy.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 00:51 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you think it means if there's no fortune in your cookie?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 17:35 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my next life, I pray Zinggers don't taste so good.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 19:37 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon My youngest turns 13 in a couple of weeks, which means I'll have three teenagers in the house. I can only assume that qualifies me for some sort of federal disaster relief funding.
←Rate | 07-20-2011 21:55 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If aliens ever land on earth and demand to see our leader, our best chance of survival is to bring them to Lady Gaga.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 20:24 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon made an observation at the drug store today. There's an aisle that pretty much sums up the phases of life in products. Diapers, condoms, and adult diapers. From peeing in your pants, to lots of sex, then, back to peeing in your pants.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 20:36 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes my mind wanders. I don't know what it does the rest of the time.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 00:04 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon A box of poptarts to any one that can find my underwear.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 00:37 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can leap off tall buildings in a single bound, but only once.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:13 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: "What color hair does the tooth fairy have?" My son: "Red, because it is you. I don't believe in fairies." My other son: "Her hair is gray. She colors it." Maybe I should have taught them to believe in fairies.
←Rate | 08-03-2011 11:22 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Normally my dog opens the door with his face, tonight he sat and looked up at me when we got to the door. So I opened it with my face, I can see now why he's not a fan of this method.
←Rate | 08-03-2011 11:23 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,"Help, they've turned me into a parrot." you are wasting everybody's time.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:26 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  




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