EF Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wrap all my Christmas gifts in bubble wrap.....it's like giving two gifts in one!
←Rate | 12-12-2013 15:28 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh com'on Kim Jong everyone has a ''funny uncle'' in the family....don't you think the firing squad was a little harsh???
←Rate | 12-13-2013 12:26 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snow in Egypt! In the dessert! Global warming strikes again!....Al Gore refuses comment
←Rate | 12-13-2013 13:29 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kanye West?......I've never heard of her!
←Rate | 12-14-2013 08:30 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Monopoly has come out with a new version of its board game to commemorate President Obama.....all the properties have half their value and the money has been replaced with foodstamps
←Rate | 12-14-2013 12:11 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be so much more ''festive" if UPS and FEDEX guys dressed as Santa while delivering packages during the holiday season
←Rate | 12-14-2013 22:58 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I hear the Christmas song about "nuts roasting on an open fire" I cringed. My wife plays that song over and over when she's mad at me..... even if it's in July
←Rate | 12-15-2013 13:00 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every family has a relative that they would prefer to keep hidden during the Holidays. If you think your family doesn't have one...Trust me it is YOU!
←Rate | 12-15-2013 17:03 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hopefully Kim Jong Un will mistake Dennis Rodman for his other uncle
←Rate | 12-16-2013 16:24 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is all about deciding how much crazy you can live with.
←Rate | 12-16-2013 17:56 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Mega Millions jackpot is now up to $586 million. The odds of winning are 1 in 259 million. Those are the same odds of Tony Romo throwing a pass to his own teammate in the fourth quarter.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 16:02 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for half an hour...
←Rate | 12-18-2013 22:37 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me 'Will you be putting it up yourself?' I told him, 'No, you sicko, it's going in the living room!'
←Rate | 12-19-2013 11:19 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Dr. who had examined my wife when she was rushed to the Emergency Room, pulled me aside and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' I said 'Me neither doc,' ......'But she's a great cook and good with the kids.'
←Rate | 12-19-2013 12:42 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Scariest Horror Movies of All Time 1. The Exorcist 2. Psycho 3. The View on ABC
←Rate | 12-19-2013 21:13 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have this great midnight snack it's called, what do I think my roommate won't notice if I eat the edges off of
←Rate | 12-20-2013 09:48 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon A&E has just announced the replacement show for Duck Dynasty the new show will be Dyke Dynasty.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 20:39 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Right now a FedEx driver is dropkicking your Christmas gift onto someone's front porch.
←Rate | 12-21-2013 00:13 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon One thing awesome about my childhood was being able to play with a 'toy' gun without the authorities getting involved.
←Rate | 12-21-2013 12:01 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beer.
←Rate | 12-23-2013 12:01 by EF Comments (0)  




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