Bill Funny Status Messages

   500 birds fell out of sky in Louisiana too? OK that's it, something crazy is going on. Where's Fox Mulder when you need him?

   With all these birds falling out the sky, I won't be eating Chinese anytime soon....

   Easy explanation for dead birds falling from sky...they keep hitting Wonder Woman's invisible jet.

   The new 'Huckleberry Finn' - where Jim is shackled, beaten & kept as human livestock, but nobody calls him any bad words.

   “Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.” - Mark Twain

   Obama thinks that $172,000 a year is a modest salary. Scratching my head .....I want a modest salary!!!

   Wishing the King a happy 76th Birthday, where ever he is.....

   If all this Global Warming keeps up, I think Atlanta may have to add to it's fleet of 8 snow-plows......

   can't afford these gas prices anymore..... I'm charging up Leroy's Buzz Lightyear car and leaving for work 4 hours early tonight.

   Early preview of tonight's State Of The Union: It sucks. We're broke. Quit *itching. Goodnight.

   Early preview of tonight's State Of The Union speech: It sucks. We're broke. Quit bitching. Goodnight.

   Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco to change last name back to Johnson. This must be one of the big changes promised by the team......WTF!!

   I remain concerned that without Internet access, the people of Egypt may not know that Charlie Sheen is okay.

   Mubarak is like one of those guys at the end of the party. However many hints you give him, he just won't leave.....

   I was thinking....I bet airfare to Egypt is crazy cheap right about now. I've never seen the pyramids, are they still standing?? Oh never mind, they got no internet, I'M NOT GOING!!!

   Happy Groundhogs Day. No way Phil is coming out of his hole today.....

   President Obama is celebrating Black History Month, but just for the first two weeks.........

   BREAKING NEWS: Mubarak to remain in office, "I will step down when the Cleveland Cavaliers win a game." More details coming soon.......

   Breaking News: Governor Scott Walker to announce Omar Suleiman as his vice-governor in Wisconsin.........

   Happy President's Day! Time to remember all the great leaders this country has had, and how we've disgraced them by putting Obama in office!!