@1_Jack_Jacko Funny Status Messages

   Your password must contain at least 8 letters, a capital, a plot, a protagonist with good character development, a twist and a happy ending

   How is McDonald's delivery not a thing yet? I can order a wife from another country but I can't get someone to bring me a Big Mac?

   If your boyfriend isn't strong enough to pick you up and pin you up against the wall, you have a girlfriend

   People getting out of prison will probably be on Myspace now saying "Where's everybody at?"

   My girlfriend wanted to talk to me about how childish I am but she didn't know the password to my pillow fort so she couldn't get in

   Want to know the best way to make friends? Tell a woman you love her and she will say "I think we're just friends"

   Because of "YOLO", MILFS are now 16 years old.

   Ladies, the whole "Prince charming" thing doesn't exist. Settle for the guy who knows the difference between "You're" & "Your"

   Your girlfriend could be dumb as anything but the minute you start arguing with her she'll turn into a lawyer with a degree from Cambridge

   If your girlfriend has a friend that annoys you, don't tell her to stop being friends with her. Just casually mention how pretty she is.

   R.I.P to any guy that ever cheats on Ronda Rousey

   The only exercise I've done this month is running out of money

   Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...I had to smash."

   I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now i'm going to a different cafe.

   My roommate is 3 days younger than me so ive gotten in the habit of saying “when I was your age..” and then describing what I did 3 days ago

   i hate when girls on tinder say "not looking for hook ups just friendships!" yeah and I'm on pornhub to see if the plumber is gonna fix the sink

   Phones nowadays are so expensive, when you fall and hear a crack, you pray it’s your leg.

   If you friendzone me, help me bang your other friends then. Bestie

   Am I the only person who feels like Christmas didn't even happen?

   My future wife is probably lying in bed right now texting her man about how they’re gonna be together forever. I think not, see you in two years babe