urboyblue Funny Status Messages

   Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee....today is my birthday and I am 70!!

   A wise old man once said nothing....bet a woman can't do that!!

   An average person thinks he isn't!!

   "Leave It To Beaver" is what I am calling it...it's a club for distraught men that have a hard time dealing with women!!

   Looks like Mr. T and Flav O Flav had a baby and he is one of the Black Eyed Peas!!

   OK, I go upstairs to the bathroom and walk by and my wife is watching Forensic Files....20 minutes later she comes down to the man cave and asks if we should get life insurance on each other!! Made me nervous

   We have a game show called Survivor in America....you can win 1 million dollars for doing something for 2 weeks that most people on this planet call "life"!! It simply amazes me how spoiled, ungrateful and lazy we are!!

   I'm wearing my pants today at half mast....are you??

   Bet if a gunman opened fire while Obama was onstage yesterday....he would use them as human shields!! Kinda like he is doing now!!

   Don't you just hate those skinny ass Barbie type girls that always says "I'm fat"!! I would love to go "not now but keep actin' like your actin' and you will be after those 7 kids you're gonna have" Anyone else feel this way??

   "SWAG" LOL....I love to know where words originate from and in the 1960's a group of men came up with the term "SWAG"....it's meaning Secretly We Are G@y!! True story!! So go get your SWAG on and please post on FB everytime you do so I can laugh at you!!

   When someone ends their posts with "just sayin" I would love to smack the sh!t out of them and poke their eyeballs out with an ice pick....other than that I am having a great day!!

   I thought LL in LL Cool J meant :adies Love....it obviously means "Lip Licker" cuz that's all he does after he finishes a sentence!! Gotta love the Grammy's!!

   NASCAR in KENTUCKY!! WOOOHOOOO!! Where there will be more fans than teeth and you will hear this: "Please remove your mulllets for the singing of the National Anthem"

   Conrad Murray convicted of killing a pedophile and we cheer at the verdict?? I bet Dexter Morgan is pleased even tho he didn't get to make a trip to Neverland Ranch!!

   I don't think an athiest has the right to listen to "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey!! Go listen to "Nothing Happens When You Die" and whine on your message boards!!

   After seeing Nancy Grace's nipple slip on Dancing With The Stars....I must say I will never eat bologna again!! Thanks alot Nancy!!

   All you damn people inviting me to Castleville get on Battlefield 3 so I can knife you!!

   Use this form for submissions only. Viola"No more Foreign Aid until every American is fed, clothed and has a home" I would vote for any man or woman that promised that...wouldn't care what color, religion or who he/she slept with....PERIOD!!

   Wanna make your girl scream when ya have sex fella's?? Call her and tell her where ur at!!