levon Funny Status Messages

   dear biology, can I get an extended warranty on my penis?

   NASCAR - National Association of Stupid Cars And Rednecks

   i think i'd have to be pretty hammered to see Thor

   if Casey Anthony didn't pay her taxes, she'd be in prison right now

   waking up next to Julie Chen with no make-up makes me want to saw me penis off with a rusty car key

   loves when people just click the 'like' button on a thread of comments cause they're too lazy to add another comment

   playing punch buggy with your mother

   T.S.A. pat downs on children are a direct violation of their civil puberties

   CANADA - Crying About Never Actually Defeating Americans 

   facebook should have a 'I AM ON THE RAG' notification for women

   which kind of vinegar must your bath towel smell like until you actually get a clean one?

   the inside of my car looks different sober!?

   i almost rather burn than have to change my smoke detector battery

   Trending Now - #1 Mindy Cohn..... WTF?

   the band Nine Inch Nails should change their name to 'No Amount of Toilet Paper Helps'

   just downloaded this new app called iColi... it's sick!

   supports the "Obama Is Too Damn High Party"!!!

   our economy has Dow Syndrome

   Wade: I just got your email...it says I'm fired...oh don't worry about that...I get unlimited emails..

   they need full length mirrors at the self-checkout line in the grocery store