Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I just cleaned my house by turning off the lights.
←Rate | 09-01-2018 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don't subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are born with a gene that allows them to know what the hell is going on in movies.
←Rate | 11-06-2013 06:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 13:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
←Rate | 11-15-2014 00:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it funny how people throw around inspirational stuff like ‘live your life to the fullest’ after they've spent the entire day on Facebook.
←Rate | 11-26-2013 02:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Objects in the selfie are way sadder than they appear.
←Rate | 08-07-2014 10:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the good old days before social media when adults acted like four year olds in private.
←Rate | 01-18-2016 12:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: You're not a true vegan unless you tell 10 people every day
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Your Facebook posts are like your children. Some go on to become successful and others make you look stupid.
←Rate | 01-18-2017 12:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
←Rate | 06-23-2016 05:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 13:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't tell if the vegetarians upstairs are having sex or are finally eating a steak.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 05:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.
←Rate | 01-27-2015 12:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry Kanye, but you can't name your baby North West, then call yourself a "creative genius."
←Rate | 10-10-2013 15:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women I sleep with get so weird when I ask them to sign the guestbook.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Madonna and Johnny Depp seem completely unaware they aren't British
←Rate | 02-27-2014 07:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon courage turns quickly into fear when you attempt to kill a cockroach and it flies.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 02:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just keep telling myself you guys don't have sex either.
←Rate | 06-06-2017 02:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
←Rate | 12-14-2014 03:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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