minnie haha Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Look, here's the deal: If you're into immature, sexually compulsive women who drink entirely too much and need to be the center of attention at all times..... you are going to like me a lot...
←Rate | 11-20-2012 23:29 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have mixed drinks about feelings..
←Rate | 03-16-2013 22:56 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon You will always find me in the kitchen at parties... unless you've stashed the booze in a different room.
←Rate | 08-04-2012 16:58 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate going to elementary school concerts. I can never find a designated driver.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 11:55 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon People really misunderstand me.....I mean, I’m a simple girl, really. I enjoy long romantic walks (to the liquor store)...quiet conversations (with my bail bondsman)....that secure feeling (that only an ankle monitoring bracelet can bring)...
←Rate | 02-01-2013 12:56 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon May the beer rise up to meet you and may your bar tab be picked up by someone else, and may the hangover be far from you. Happy St. Paddy's Day!
←Rate | 03-16-2013 16:48 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentine's Day is for lovers. Or for people like us who will celebrate anything as long as there's slutty lingerie and saturated fats involved.
←Rate | 02-13-2013 18:39 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon well..... so much for my 'not killing time with Facebook' resolution.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 15:28 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am now officially F.U.I. = facebooking under the influence ;)
←Rate | 01-19-2013 21:32 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why in the heck are there stitch marks on zombies? Who's giving them medical attention?
←Rate | 03-13-2013 14:06 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon My teleporter’s broken, I've lost my superpowers, and my sidekick is out of town. Only one last hope for humanity: Must... get.... the... cork... out... of... this... wine.... bottle.....
←Rate | 01-20-2013 18:37 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon presently poking others but your poke is important to her. Please stay online and your pokes will be returned in the order they were received. Approximate wait time is five minutes.
←Rate | 01-20-2013 21:23 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon At least I have all day sober to Sunday up.....
←Rate | 01-12-2013 21:31 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon My conscience is clear...because I soak it in vodka.
←Rate | 01-11-2013 22:16 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apocalypse Update - Day 67: I should have bought more Febreeze for the bunker, dammit.
←Rate | 02-26-2013 22:31 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a Chia Pet.....don't ask.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 20:40 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, today I found out that they don't like you to wear roller skates in the mall! Or maybe they were mad cuz I didn't have pants on.....not sure which one.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 17:39 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Contrary to what you may think, my moral compass is not broken. It just happens to be pointing toward hell
←Rate | 01-01-2013 12:01 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whatever Dude..I say That By eating this vodka with a spoon it officially becomes a soup and is therefore healthy..... So Kiss Off
←Rate | 01-07-2013 21:50 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I did not steal your drink. You abandoned it and I rescued it...
←Rate | 01-19-2013 14:18 by minnie haha Comments (0)  



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