Zinc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My New Year's Resolution? 1080p.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:55 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just realized that sometimes I can be a little condescending (that means I talk down to people).
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:27 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everytime someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to punch them in the face and say "not as easy as it sounds, now is it?"
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:47 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep
←Rate | 01-12-2015 13:19 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy Nerf guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, Nerf guns and candy.
←Rate | 12-29-2012 16:02 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Came home to find all the doors and windows open and everything gone..what kind of sick person would do that to someone's advent calendar??
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:47 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did I already post my Alzheimer update?
←Rate | 03-05-2012 23:20 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just tried to change my password to 'Twilight,' but Facebook wouldn't let me. Said there's too many useless characters.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 17:29 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try, St. Patrick’s Day, but I don’t need a reason to drink.
←Rate | 03-17-2016 11:37 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Cinco de Mayo, let's party like Mexican rock stars if they existed.
←Rate | 05-03-2017 18:25 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't think of it as 5-day-old pizza you found in the fridge, think of it as...pizza jerky.
←Rate | 07-02-2013 14:32 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon NASA found methane on Mars! Proving once again that no matter how ancient a civilization is, it's farts that truly endure.
←Rate | 01-11-2015 21:06 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drank way too much beer last night. Didn't leave any for this morning.
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:38 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon i was winning egg hunts before I was even born
←Rate | 04-03-2013 02:01 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Michael Phelps probaby just threw away any of his medals that weren't gold.
←Rate | 08-03-2012 00:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates - Jay Leno
←Rate | 10-10-2012 16:28 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
←Rate | 01-08-2014 12:45 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing all the time.
←Rate | 02-13-2012 22:15 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon If two people in wheelchairs are having a conversation, is it considered mobile to mobile?
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:42 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon that money can't buy you happiness, but it sure can buy you beers to drink in the shower.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 01:59 by Zinc Comments (0)  



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